Blog Article Tags
We love building relationships. Subscribe to our blog to receive weekly encouragement in your email inbox.
Search Blog Posts
- Details
Written by Marbella Parra, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Honduras 
God created us as social beings with a need to relate to other people. We mostly enjoy sharing special moments of our lives with others. In the journey of our life, we meet people—and some of them stay with us. We develop friendships, and we support each other in happy moments as well as in difficult times. We call these people friends.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (NIV). On this path of relationships, situations can arise in which we are disloyal to that person who has trusted us. Yes, we are talking about betrayal—a pretty strong word, but real. I don’t think that anyone would like to be called traitorous, but the truth is that at some point in our lives we have failed in our relationships, and others have also failed us.
The Bible recounts two quite shocking cases of betrayal that cause us to reflect on our own relationships; they are Judas and Peter, two disciples who had the joy of sharing a close relationship with Jesus. They saw His miracles, walked with Him, ate at the same table, learned from His teachings, and accompanied Him in His ministry. They had a beautiful privilege—to be friends of Jesus. Similarly, we have people who share with us, know us, eat with us, go out with us, and laugh and cry with us. But relationships are always put to the test, and Jesus' relationships with Peter and Judas were no exception.
Let's first talk about Judas. In the gospels, we find few details about Judas, but it is known that he was a follower of Jesus and supported His ministry. It is also known that he had a soft spot for money; so much so that his greed led him to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Judas faced a very tempting opportunity that made him fall and lose the trust and friendship that Jesus had with him. Tragically, after falling and thinking about what he had done, he did not know how to handle the situation and ended his own life.
Then there is Peter, about whom we have more details in the Bible. He had an energetic and impulsive personality, and something that stands out about him is that he recognized Jesus as the Son of God, always ready to serve and work alongside Him. Peter was strongly involved in Jesus' ministry, but, like Judas, he underwent a test of faithfulness. Although in many moments he expressed his faith and love for Jesus, in a difficult moment when he had to express his beliefs and show loyalty to his Lord, he did not measure up and betrayed Him.
Likewise, our relationships go through moments of testing, and often we betray some. Perhaps we speak ill of our friends to others, turn our backs on them in difficult times, envy their achievements, and damage our long-standing relationships in many other ways. At other times, we are betrayed by others. But this is not the end of the story. As humans, we will fail, but the final test is how we behave after betraying others, including God, and also how we behave when others betray us.
We have 3 examples from which we can learn. The first two show us the importance of repentance when we are the ones who betray someone. Judas teaches us that we can take the “easy path”; he believed that he would solve everything by ending his life, but it would have been better to repent and genuinely change. We can take the easy road, pulling away from that special person, not talking to them anymore, and if we have failed, showing them an attitude of pride, and withdrawing without fighting for that friendship. Peter on the other hand, after making the big mistake of denying Jesus, had great pain in his heart and repented. After his betrayal, he changed his life, asked for forgiveness, and continued to serve his Lord faithfully until his death. Asking for forgiveness is the difficult path; many times it is hard for us to admit that we have failed and reach out to that person, perhaps out of shame, or perhaps out of pride, but in the end, fixing things with that special person that we have offended can redeem an important relationship in our lives.
And last but not least, we have Jesus, an example to meditate on when we are the objects of betrayal. He was a faithful friend who was always willing to forgive. Despite the failures of Judas and Peter, I am sure that He was willing to receive them again and give them another chance. Peter took advantage of this blessing and further strengthened his ties with Jesus; unfortunately, Judas did not. In Jesus, we have a great example of forgiveness when someone special betrays us. Although it hurts to be betrayed and produces enormous sadness, it is worth forgiving and rescuing those relationships that God has placed in our path.
Let us learn from the example of our Lord Jesus who was willing to forgive betrayal, and from Peter who was willing to admit his mistake and change completely for the good of his relationship with our Lord.
I want to invite you today to value all those special relationships that you have or have had. Is there any relationship that you can recover today through repentance or forgiveness?
- Details
Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries 
My youngest sister used to decorate beautiful ceramic mugs for me, but she had to stop this practice because I broke every single one. The last one, she rescued before I could break it. I never broke them intentionally. I used them all the time until my clumsiness or a very hard floor caused them to break.
Thankfully, my relationship with my sister was not dependent on the lifespan of those ceramic mugs. After we have gone through a time of brokenness, our commitment to the relationship, the covenant we have made, has actually been strengthened through the brokenness. (See the video on Redefined Identity that we narrated together and that illustrates brokenness.)
Still, we cry when things break. Broken relationships are more painful and evoke many more tears than broken dishes.
When my ex called off the wedding and permanently ended our relationship two and a half months before we planned to walk down the aisle, I was devastated. Not only was the relationship broken, I was broken—shattered in a million pieces and disoriented beyond a simple state of confusion. Brokenness was my constant companion for more than three years.
When a relationship covenant is broken, there are a few things that inevitably happen.
- We lose trust in people.
- We lose trust in ourselves.
- We doubt our trust in God.
Single-again women, especially the divorced or separated, I’m sorry for what you are going through and please know that no matter the stage of your healing process, you are not alone! Also, please hear that you are not going crazy! Broken covenants are messy! And they are not what God has designed.
If your spouse broke covenant with you, I grieve with you. Our God can redeem anything and bring about good, even in the midst of the bad (Rom. 8:28).
If you are the one who broke covenant, please know that God’s redemption and forgiveness are possible (Ps. 103:10-13; Eph. 1:7-8).
If the breaking of covenant was necessary for your safety or that of your children, I applaud your bravery and pray that there are others nearby who are able to walk with you and support you in tangible ways (Ps. 103:6; Is. 61:1-3, 7).
Relationships are at the core of who we are and what define us. We learn and teach through relationships—and not all the lessons are positive. Sometimes we are learning what not to do or attempting to teach something we are unfamiliar with because of our past.
Sisters, one thing that I learned is that no matter how much my trust wavers, God’s love for me does not.
Three key lessons I learned through my season of the broken covenant of relationship:
- God is eternally faithful and unconditional in His covenant (Lam. 3:22-26; Heb. 13:20-21).
- God allows people to have free will and I must accept that (Gen. 2:16-17; Rom. 7:15-24).
- Redemption and healing are possible, but they do take time (1 Pet. 2:24; James 5:16).
As I mentioned, a broken promise in relationship is deeply painful and causes us to doubt whether we can trust the other person in the future. My deeper doubts were whether or not I could trust myself to know whether I was a good judge of character, since I chose to be with someone who later broke his promises.
On many levels, I still respected and loved my ex—to the point that when he made his decision clear, I didn’t fight him on it, nor try to convince him otherwise. In his free will, he had chosen to end the relationship. Thankfully for us, it was before we entered into the covenant of marriage. Yet the brokenness I felt was as if he had broken that level of relationship covenant.
In time, I forgave him, but it was not something I could forget. God accompanied me in my grief. He did so through supportive friends, their prayers, then later my own. God was patient with me while I had to sit in the balcony on the furthest row from the pulpit because my pain level was proportionate to my physical proximity during a Sunday morning service.
God loved me through my obedient worship, going through the motions and not yet “feeling it.” God spoke to me through Bible verses that would appear in my social feeds, in conversations, in Bible study, or in prayer.
Over time, God affirmed a quote a friend had shared early on: “Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Time reveals how God can heal all wounds.” Amen!
Part of my healing has been a deeper level of empathy for others who have faced similar pain. The comfort I have received, I have shared with others (2 Cor. 1:3-6).
It is my prayer that God reveal His eternal faithfulness to such a degree that it overshadows any broken covenant of relationship.
Do you believe? Lord, help us overcome our unbelief.