Written by Ann Thiede, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Searcy, Arkansas
Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. (Ps 141:3 NIV)
Ten years ago, I joined a Beth Moore scripture memory challenge, wanting to grow more into a wise woman of faith. The verse above was my first choice. You’ve probably heard the expression “bite your tongue!”. If you examined mine closely, you’d see it’s pretty ragged. I feel at times the verse should say, “set a lock on my mouth”!
The apostle James dedicated half of chapter three in his New Testament letter, spelling out in graphic language the danger of the tongue. I encourage you to read the whole chapter. It is Holy Spirit truth worth heeding. Verses eight and nine say the following:
But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.
So, is there hope for a wise woman to tame her tongue? Yes, but let’s first delve into his words.
I’ve fallen into the “deadly poison” trap with gossip. Once, a very dear friend stopped me in my tracks when I started to tell her something about someone. She said, “Do I need to hear this?” I’ve seen and participated first-hand in gossip that hurt relationships, and it’s a “thorn”; a temptation from the evil one, and I do not want him having his way! Better to set a guard on my mouth and use it productively.
Jesus gives us wise words for relationship repair:
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (Mt 5:23-24)
Reconciliation presents a healthy, healing way to use the tongue. Getting our hearts right with others gets our hearts right with God more than any offering we could give Him. I’ve experienced others coming to me with a grievance, and thank Jesus for supplying the humility and openness to accept whatever needed to be acknowledged. I’ve also gone to others asking forgiveness for what I believed to be a wrong done with my tongue or actions. It clears the air, leaving no room for the evil one to produce resentment or bitterness.
Another deadly poison of the tongue is cursing instead of blessing. I may not use curse words, but if you looked in my mind sometimes when aggravated, it wouldn’t be pretty, and it would be much easier for unkind words to slip out. Looking at others like Jesus would, not superficially, helps me lift up prayers for their good instead of cursing. Paul said it this way right after calling us to live no longer for ourselves, but for Jesus: “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view” (2Co 5:16a). Once, I saw a woman screaming at her young children in the grocery store. My first impulse was worldly and judgmental. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit reminded me that I did not know her circumstances, her background, or anything about her, which helped me to pull the “thorn” out of my heart and avoid unkind words.
To help us ‘dig deeper’, Jesus says: “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Mt 12:34b). It would do well for us to meditate on these words of David, a man after God’s own heart: “Search me, God, and know my heart…” (Ps 139:23a). “Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare Your praise” (Ps 51:15). “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Ps 19:14 ESV). James encourages us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (Jas 1:19 NIV).
As you look over these thoughts and scriptures, what will help you become a wiser woman of God, blooming and growing in your quest to tame the tongue? I hope you’ll share with another sister in Christ and encourage one another.
