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Written by Silene Coelho, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Manaus, Brazil
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Pr 14:1 NIV)
When I read this verse, I'm reminded that wisdom isn't simply about knowing the Bible or having many years of experience. Being wise means living out God's teachings in a practical way, making choices that build up, not tear down. And this doesn't depend on whether I'm single, married, widowed, or divorced. Wisdom is a calling for all of us.
We need to understand that true wisdom does not depend on marital status. Being wise means living in a way that my actions edify, that my choices reflect Christ, and that my life is useful in the Kingdom. And this is possible for any woman—single, widowed, or divorced. Single Christians should understand that they can experience a wonderful life with freedom, excitement, and happiness while fulfilling God's purpose in their lives.
Being single has taught me a profound lesson: holiness is more than "not sinning" in the sexual area. It's about living set apart for God in all areas—thoughts, relationships, choices. Paul spoke about this in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, reminding us that marriage is a blessing, but that single life can also be lived for God's glory. I've seen single women get involved in purposeless relationships just to avoid being alone, and I've seen how this can lead to heartache. The wise woman understands that waiting on God is safer than rushing things. This doesn't mean being passive, but choosing paths that preserve peace and purity.
One of the blessings of singleness is the freedom to serve. Paul mentions that a single woman can dedicate herself more to the things of the Lord (1Co 7:32-35). I see this in the lives of many women: they have time to be involved in ministries, visit people, participate in missionary events, and study the Word more intensely. It is also noticeable in the lives of widows who, after their loss, found new strength in Christian service, and in divorced women who rebuilt their faith and self-esteem by serving others. These stories show that serving not only blesses those who receive but also heals and strengthens those who serve.
Even though I am not in a relationship, I know that my daily choices define the kind of woman I will be tomorrow. Choosing friends who draw me closer to God, managing my finances well, investing in my personal and spiritual growth—all of this is building my inner "house." If marriage comes someday, it's important to be emotionally healthy and spiritually strong. Wise women—whether married, widowed, or divorced—show that the right choices today build a solid and blessed future. As C.S. Lewis said, “A woman's heart must be so hidden in God that a man must seek Him to find her.”
Even as an adult and independent woman, I've learned that obeying and respecting authority is part of wisdom. This includes honoring parents (Ex 20:12), even if living alone, and listening to spiritual leaders (Heb 13:17). Obedience doesn't diminish, but protects and strengthens. Widows and divorcees who maintain this posture of humility and respect show that this is a key to preserving relationships and opening doors to new opportunities.
Being single has taught me that self-love is not selfishness, but a commandment that requires patience and constant reflection on my attitudes (Lk 10:27). I have come to value my well-being, to say "no" when necessary, to protect my rest, and to nourish my mind with things that edify. I have also learned that solitude can be a gift—a time to deepen my relationship with God, without distractions. Widows who, after years of caring for others, have learned to care for themselves, and divorced women who have rediscovered their identity after separation, show that loving oneself is being prepared to love others better.
Being wise is a calling for all women, regardless of marital status. "Alone, yes, but not lonely!"—because emptiness does not come from the absence of a husband, but from the lack of Jesus, the only source of fullness. A woman's worth is in Christ, and until the day of the Lamb's wedding (Rev 19:7), her purpose is to live like the woman of Proverbs 14:1, building up and not tearing down.
Let those of us who are single continue to encourage one another to seek wisdom in our singleness.
Written by Jocelynn Goff, Volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Arkansas
“Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Mt 25:21a). As Christians, these are words of blessing and affirmation we all long to hear. They bring hope and peace to our souls as we live out our faith in a world full of struggles, hurts, and deception. This begs the question: How can we make sure we hear these words?
To answer that question, let’s look at the whole context of the story that Jesus tells us.
Again, it will be like a man going on a journey who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on His journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. ‘Master, he said, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! (Mt 25:14-21)
If we were to read further, we’d see that the man given two talents received the same affirming words, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Mt 25:23a). However, the man who was given one talent did not receive these same words of blessing. Instead, he received harsh words from his master. “You wicked, lazy servant!” (Mt 25:26a).
Wait, couldn’t the one-talent man have also received the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”? Yes, I believe he could have. However, he acted out of fear and assumed his master was a hard man, so he went and hid his talent in the ground.
In contrast, I’m confident that my parents, who have both recently ascended to their eternal reward, have heard those precious words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” They were definitely faithful stewards of the five talents that their Master had given them to bless others and give glory to Him. In turn, they were given other things with which to be in charge. While I realize that the reference in scripture refers to money, I believe it has application for abilities also. My parents used both money and abilities to multiply their Master’s Kingdom.
I’ve also known many faithful stewards who were given one talent but are not acting in fear, nor are they comparing themselves with those who have been given more talents. Rather, by faith, they are in the Kingdom business of using their money and abilities to the glory of God.
The question to each of us is not what number of talents we have been given by our Master but rather are we faithful stewards of those talents? Are we using them or hiding them? I pray that each of us will assess ourselves, be about Kingdom business with what we’ve each been given, and will all hear the blessed words, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.
