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Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries
After nine long months of waiting, it was finally here! Not a baby, but what felt like “my baby” at the time. Late April 2014, after having filed all the paperwork for Iron Rose Sister Ministries to be registered as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit in the U.S., our letter of approval arrived, retroactive to our date of incorporation, July 26, 2013.
While most people don’t jump up and down when they receive a letter from the IRS, I did that day! Bounding inside from the mailbox, I couldn’t stop jumping up and down, squealing, unable to contain my excitement! But no one else was home. There was no one with whom to share my joy.
The two very large dogs that belonged to my sister and brother-in-law sensed the celebration and began jumping too, easily reaching my height. Thanking them for their exuberance, I clarified that the excitement was not really theirs to share. Retreating to a dog-free location, I debated who to call first who would share in my unbridled joy.
I did not want to celebrate alone. No one wants to celebrate alone. Those who have been with us in the struggle celebrate the most together in the victory.
We see this beautifully illustrated through three parables in Luke 15: The Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin, and the Lost Son (aka Prodigal Son).
The shepherd, after losing one of his hundred sheep, leaves the flock together and goes after the one that has strayed.
“And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep’” (Luke 15:5-6 NIV).
The same happens with the woman who lost one of her ten coins. “And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin’” (Luke 15:9).
Not coincidentally, both of those parables conclude with the direct interpretation of the parable: There is great rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents.
There is no more beautiful thing to celebrate together than a baptism, nothing more precious than someone who returns to God and His family after having strayed far from Him. Hallelujah! Amen!
I have tasted the joy and cried grateful tears at the return of a beloved child to her Father. Yet I have also been in the trenches of prayer through the watches of the night for those who have abandoned what they knew to chase other distractions, pursuits, or little “g” gods.
If you are the person who has strayed, please know that our Heavenly Father’s open arms are awaiting your return and that we will be there with Him and the angels, rejoicing! We can’t wait to celebrate your redemption together!
If you are the person who has someone close to you who has wandered from the Way, I grieve with you. It is a tremendous loss and sadness that no one wants to experience. However, I offer you the hope of the resurrection. While you grieve, maybe a child who has abandoned the teaching you know you provided, I want you to know that you are not alone. And please know that we Iron Rose Sisters are here to pray with you now and to celebrate together upon your child’s return. God loves him/her even more than you do, and He can’t wait to be the one to start the celebration!
“’Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate” (Luke 15:23b-24).
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Written by Elina Vath, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Ohio
I have tried to sit down and write multiple times. I’ve questioned what on earth possessed me to choose the topic of “toxic relationships: personal application” even more. I wouldn’t call what I’m feeling “writer’s block” because it’s more of a “writer’s paralysis.” Describing what God has taught me through my experience with toxic relationships means digging in holes that are filled in and covered with grass. It means going to places where I never wanted to return.
But Jesus. My mind goes to Him.
Jesus doesn’t get to forget His relationship with those knowledgeable men in fancy robes who were supposed to back Him up and demanded He be murdered instead. He doesn’t get to forget that one of His closest friends sold Him out for a small satchel of coins. Rather, Jesus ensured that these toxic relationships are documented multiple times, by multiple people—and preserved over the centuries for millions to know.
The pool of evidence that Jesus was on the receiving end of toxicity from those around Him is extensive.
No one knows narcissism, manipulation, deceit, and treachery like Jesus. Those of us who have front-row experience with any or all of these forms of dysfunction can claim that the One we follow knows exactly how it feels. We serve the God-man who sees our suffering, the betrayal, and the hurt, and empathizes. If nothing else I write about gives comfort, let this be it: When we approach Him in prayer, talk to Him, and pour our hearts out to Him, He feels our pain and then promises to give us peace that is beyond understanding.
But what about me?
We live in a fallen world where we are constantly navigating toxicity in our relationships. And none of us are guiltless of exhibiting toxic behaviors. We have all said or done things of a toxic nature. Maybe you were the instigator, maybe you were reacting to something that hurt you. Whatever the situation, identifying your own toxic traits is a huge part of the healing process. I can say for myself that growing and deciding, “I’m not who I used to be,” has been empowering. So, embrace the power of God to transform you, and relish in being someone different now—someone who resembles Jesus a little more.
But they haven’t changed.
There are times when toxic relationships cannot be cut out of your life entirely. When this happens, the healing process will happen again. And again. And again. Because the hurting, manipulation, etc., will not stop. But remember, you have changed. You see through the toxicity. You have changed the patterns of your behavior. You don’t process the daggers the same way you used to, and they don’t have the same effect on you anymore. Don’t let the repeated negative experiences wear you down. Instead, see them as opportunities to get stronger, to build your character. You will see that, in time, the healing will come more quickly.
But I’m weak sometimes.
I hear you, sister. We’ll both take steps back. We’ll both have moments when we revert back to the way we used to be. But hang on. You’ll get better at catching yourself. Laying your weakness at God’s feet means He’ll give you what you need in exchange. Don’t get discouraged in moments of weakness. God doesn’t run out of mercy and grace, and He loves it when you come to Him for help.
My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt. Cheering you on as you heal!