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Written by Deanna Brooks, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Arkansas
“I need you.” God did not create us to live life in isolation. He knew we needed each other for companionship, for encouragement, and for accountability.
Peter writes that Satan goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Pet. 5:8). In the wild, it is the animal separated from the herd that is in danger of being attacked. Predators seldom attack an animal protected by others.
Likewise, a person who does not have spiritual friendships is more at risk of walking the wrong path in life.
Some friends draw us closer to Jesus. They help us become what we know He wants us to be.
If our friends have nothing more to talk about than sports, movies, or other worldly pursuits, then they can’t encourage our spiritual walk. Some friends are constantly daring us to see how close we can walk to sin without getting caught or telling us it really doesn’t matter… pulling us away from the path we are trying to walk.
Scriptures give examples of several friendships.
David and Jonathan – a shepherd and a prince, whose souls were “knit together.” Jonathan did not appear to be jealous that David would be the next king instead of him. When David was hiding from Saul, Jonathan found him, “And he said to him, ‘Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you’” (1 Sam. 23:17 ESV).
Nathan and David – a prophet willing to confront sin and a king willing to accept correction. When Nathan said, “You are the man!” (2 Sam. 12:7), David’s response was, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Sam. 12:13). Nathan continued to be a support and friend throughout David’s life, and we see that closeness when David and Bathsheba name a son “Nathan.”
Paul and Timothy – a missionary who began mentoring a younger man, calling him “my son in the faith” (1 Tim. 1:2 MSG).
Barnabas and Mark – relatives with the older willing to give the younger a second chance in mission work (Acts 15). We all need a second chance at times.
Naomi and Ruth – mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bound together through heartbreak (the book of Ruth). Supporting each other through difficult times creates a bond never forgotten.
Elijah and Elisha – older prophet who trained a younger prophet (2 Kings 2) who would follow in his footsteps.
Then, we also read of friendships that did not bring out the spiritual side.
Rehoboam and his young friends – he was advised to be harsher than his father Solomon, which caused the kingdom to be split (1 Kings 12).
Ahab and Jezebel – husband and wife who seem to have encouraged each other in evil (1 Kings 18-21).
Life has ups and downs, twists, and turns that we often have not planned for and do not expect. When that happens, our focus can become distorted, and we might feel our faith is under attack. A godly friend can help us refocus and work through whatever has happened.
First Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” It’s important to choose our companions wisely.
Paul also writes in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”
We sometimes walk a fine line between wanting to help (mentor) someone who is struggling and allowing their struggles to affect us. The reality is it is easier to pull someone down than lift them up.
When we have friends who encourage us to think on the good (Phil. 4:8) and to develop the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22,23), we have someone who will help us walk in the footsteps of Jesus and receive the crown of life.
What spiritual relationships are you nurturing in your life?
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Written by Jennifer Percell, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Missouri
“He hasn't texted in two years. She has convinced him that he doesn't need me. How can he just forget his own mom?”
“Oh, Sarah, I'm so sorry, I know we are never supposed to give up, but I feel the same way. At least my girls still text but it's nothing like it used to be. We were so close and now we are strangers. Did your son have faith?”
“He led the youth group—he even planned to be a youth director. But she is not interested so he just quit.”
“Same with the girls—they were both so faithful—now they say my faith makes me unsafe! Don't they remember I was the one who taught them that family is their safe place and that I would love them no matter what?”
Sarah and I had this conversation every week. Our friendship had bonded over pain for our prodigal children. Her son's fiancé told him his family was toxic. Sarah had no idea why, and his betrayal of their relationship had left her broken. We tried to encourage each other but neither of us could see a path to reconciliation with our adult children. So many of our friends had similar stories; lonely mothers unable to navigate new definitions of relationship expectations.
I often ask God to answer my prayers with a story I could tell that would encourage others and glorify Him. I had no stories for Sarah because my own pain had clouded my hope. There was no way I could see that her son would change his heart. It seemed that the only kind thing would be to help Sarah accept a life without him, just as I was trying to resign myself to the new reality of the loss of my daughters’ faith and close friendship.
Two years passed; each week we shared tears, prayers, and sorrows. When one of us had a strong week, we would feel hopeful, but our tears were far more common. I wanted to be a faithful friend— the one who never gave up and always left her feeling comforted and sure of God's blessings, but I was not confident. I saw no solution for either of us—no way for the lost relationships to heal.
But God...
Sarah's smile was radiant as we talked last month. She showed me a picture so full of life and joy that I could not contain my tears. In the picture, she cradled a newborn grandson. Two more years had passed, years during which God had written a redemption story in Sarah's life: a story with chapters of tragedy, fear, timid efforts to connect, love that wouldn't quit trying, and open arms of forgiving welcome. Chapters no one expected. Chapters only God saw coming. The story concluded with Sarah's home and arms full again. Her son has a new love, forgiveness has been sought and given, and new life has come to this family. All of them are open to growing in faith. Hope now radiates in my friend Sarah.
Now as I share joy with Sarah, my own hope is revived. Just last week another mother who endured years of fear for her prodigal children shared the story God wrote in their lives and the reconciliation they are enjoying. It is so easy to see the pain around us, but sisters, we are also surrounded with redemption. Our God is the God of reconciliation who desires that all men come back to Him. As we share our pain, let us remember that all hope for resolution of that pain lies in a perfect, benevolent, Father who cares for our erring children even more than we do. Because of this, let us never give up praying for the souls of our loved ones.
Hear the words of living active faith from Romans 12, verses 11, 12, 15, and 21:
11. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
12. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
15. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
21. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (NIV)
Dear sisters, are you waiting for a dear prodigal to return, or are you a prodigal afraid you won't be welcomed home? Please remember what I have forgotten too many times—absolutely nothing is impossible in the hands of our Great God. He is the God of reconciliation, and right now, as you are waiting, He is writing a story of love just for you.