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Blog
If You Are Single, Like Me...
Written by Debora Rodrigo, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Spain
I'm a single woman, like many others in my society. Besides being single, I am a Christian. And this is what makes it different; there are not many like me in my church. For whatever reason, congregations do not reflect the more than 50% of singles in society. And I'm not talking about people who decide not to marry and live together instead, but rather, people who, for various reasons, do not live as a couple. Many like me do not feel welcome in their churches; many, in fact, stop congregating because of it.
If like me, you are single, it might have been difficult at times to find appropriate activities for you within the church. Perhaps sometimes you have felt that you are not like the others. Or you have even received a special treatment that makes you uncomfortable, although you know well that it does not come from a discriminatory intention. Let me tell you that none of this responds to what the Bible says or Jesus’ teachings. The examples of singles are abundant in the Bible, and the teachings regarding singleness are also very present.
If you are single, like me, perhaps you are part of that group of people in society with the most significant number of connections in the community, as some statistics also show. And maybe, just maybe, you have a little more time that allows you to have better communion with God and serve the church with more dedication, as the apostle Paul affirmed (1 Cor. 7:32-33). In that case, you have a lot more to contribute than you have possibly thought so far. Although we can’t deny that the family, and by extension, marriage, is one of our church’s pillars, we can’t forget that the Bible and Jesus’ teachings are addressed to individuals, not family units. The Bible is addressed to people, people who have a relationship with God and others. And you could be an example in these two areas. First, for your multiple connections with your community; and second, because your condition can be an opportunity to get closer to God.
Single lady, don't let appearances or what others may think discourage your strength. Don't let the flow of what others do, inside or outside the church, affect your desire to serve. Be an example. Live each day in the present, regardless of what is around you, and do your best to be an example for others. Be an example in your relationship with God and get closer to Him every day. Be an example of a Christian woman who connects with others and loves her neighbor.
The Role of Singles in the Church
by Rachel Baker, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Searcy, AR
When I was asked about the role of singles in the church, I spent so much time trying to come up with something unique for this population. What is it about those who are single that makes them exceptionally gifted to serve within the body of Christ? I went through several points that I have heard over the years, specifically addressing the role of singles in the church… and I struggled with each and every one of them.
1) Singles have more time to devote to service and ministry.
While the constraints of marriage might not apply to singles, they definitely still have plenty of things to do each day. Some have children to raise. Most will have jobs to keep, activities that can fill their days, hobbies, friends, TV shows, social media… just like the rest of us. We can all fill our time with whatever it is we deem to be most important. We are also all capable of managing that time a little more intentionally, making space for ministry and service, and prioritizing our days.
2) Singles have more money to contribute since they don’t have a family to support.
This is not a blanket statement that can be made for all people who do not have other mouths to feed. Each occupation and life situation is unique. Life happens, expenses happen, and income changes happen. Whether married or single, we are all told to give of what we have with a joyful heart.
3) Singles are focused on finding a spouse and need a group devoted to this.
We as a church have come dangerously close to idolizing the institution of marriage, and it has created a false sense of focus and priority within our church family. Marriage is one significant way that God chooses to display His glory to the world, but it is not the only way. Both marriage and singleness are a gift from the Lord, and one is not better or more important than the other (I Corinthians 7).
Do singles have a special offering when it comes to serving and ministry? Absolutely. Are there aspects of being single that allow for service and ministry in a way that married people cannot always contribute? Definitely. We cannot, however, make blanket statements about a person’s role or responsibilities without considering the individual. Our purpose in the church is not based on our relationship status any more than it is based on our hair color or our favorite food.
We must each take the time to identify our God-given strengths, skills, and passions if we are to serve as He intended, and we must allow for others - regardless of their relationship status - to do the same.
How can you serve and minister to others in your current situation? How can you encourage your sisters in Christ to do the same?
