Blog

• Thanksgiving

Always the social butterfly and extrovert, my closet introvert has dominated the past few years. That may not have been obvious to most or evident to those who even know me best.

Before the emotional trauma of my fiancé ending our relationship, I had never experienced social anxiety or panic attacks. However, in the months and years following that event, I felt like an unknown extension of myself or someone who was merely going through the motions of being who I knew I truly was.

It wasn’t a mask. I guess you could say that I was trying to fake it until I made it… Because I knew that the truest version of myself was still in there, waiting to reawaken and return to the land of the living.

Severe depression can do that to a person. And it is a process to walk through—notice I didn’t say “come out of,” because I believe it is a continual journey and struggle for those who face it.

The past three years have been extremely stressful and emotionally intense, for reasons and in ways that are not worth enumerating. I will not elaborate because my current focus is one of gratefulness.

Open, honest, and authentic conversation has characterized my interaction with many of you regarding the challenges I have faced. And so, I am thrilled to share with you that over the past few days, I am extremely grateful to have seen my head lift from out of the fog.

Tonight was the first time in a long time that I actually wanted to be a part of church apart from Sunday morning worship. I sang with abandon, prayed with passion, and greeted others with genuine interest.

Does this mean that what I have been doing for the past three years has been insincere? Was I doing it all for show or just going through the motions? Not at all.

Everything was done on faith. Faith in God to redeem me and restore my first love. Faith in God to continue to guide my steps and clarify my calling. Faith in others to be patient through the process. Faith through the tears, the nightmares, the anxiety, the depression, the pain, the frustrations, the stress…

And now, whether this feeling lasts only for another day or another week, I thank God that, through faith, I reached a point where I truly wanted to go to church tonight—not to fulfill a duty or to do my job, always knowing I would find joy once I got there. Tonight, I finally wanted to go to church to be the church and be with the church, to worship with other Christians—to celebrate our faith by doing and being all of what church is about.

Because faith is not based on a feeling. It is based on obedience and trust in the one who can return us to the truest version of ourselves and transform us more and more into the image of His Son.

So, I invite you to rejoice with me in the power of faith. I encourage you to persevere in faith and hope. And I pray that God strengthens you to continue to obey through faith, even if you spend a day, a week, a month, or years “not feeling it.”

• Thanksgiving

Thanks be to God and to each one of you for all you have done to make possible what God is doing through this ministry. Your support in prayer and your donations have made possible the following in 2015:

• More than 1500 women attending 20 conferences or classes in five countries and seven US states.
• Women from 14 Spanish-speaking countries in attendance at the conferences, which implies a further reach than the event itself
• Women across the Americas being equipped to connect to God and one another more deeply.
• More than a dozen private counseling sessions (face-to-face or via Skype)
• The first IRSM Destination Retreat
• Consults with women’s ministry coordinators for activities, studies, and events for the women in their local area.
• The publication of the second book, In God’s Right Hand: Whom Shall I Fear?
• A student intern for seven weeks
• A personal and ministry move to Searcy, Arkansas.

Thank you so much for partnering with us in 2015! We hope that you will keep up or increase that support in 2016. God continues to open more doors and affirm that we are meeting a great need for to bless and equip women in the kingdom.

Thank you!