Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Written by Beliza Patrícia, Brazil Coordinator for Iron Rose Sister Ministries

There’s a common saying in most parts of Brazil, “Tell me who you walk with and I’ll tell you who you are.” Repeated by mothers, grandmothers, and teachers, this saying has a very clear meaning: we are like the people we spend time with. But this understanding isn’t new. Amos 3:3 says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” (NIV)

Young Christians will hear 2 Corinthians 6:14 in innumerable Bible studies and classes. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” A yoke is a piece of wood that connects animals enabling them to work together, pulling a cart, for example. This way, the weight is equally distributed between the two. However, if the animals are too different, the yoke will distribute the weight of the wood unevenly, causing one of them to carry a load that is too heavy. In other words, the yoke will be unequal.

This illustration is often used as an alert about the difficulties of a Christian marrying a non-Christian. And this makes total sense: the union of marriage isn’t just physical! It’s also a spiritual union! But does this illustration apply only to marriage? No! Whether we get married or not, we have relationships with others who participate in and influence our lives. Therefore, we need to be attentive and have clear criteria when choosing who we will walk with. But why?

Maybe you think, “I’m strong! I can carry the yoke!” Let’s look at the explanation that the scriptures provide about why we shouldn’t put ourselves in the position of being unequally yoked, showing the differences that make a Christian incompatible with the sin of the world that 1 John 5:19 tells us is controlled by the evil one.

What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people”. (2 Cor. 6:15-16)

• Righteous vs. Wickedness— Jesus came to justify (make us right), taking away sin; now whoever believes in Jesus lives for righteousness, not for evil.
• Light vs. Darkness — Sin and the lies of the world are darkness but the truth of Jesus illuminates the life of the believer.
• Christ vs. Belial — The term Belial was associated with Satan, as the expression in Hebrew means worthless; in other words, Christ’s adversary. The believer lives for Christ and is the devil’s enemy.
• Believer vs. Nonbeliever — The believer believes in Jesus and doesn’t reject Him.
• Temple of God vs. Idols — The believer has Jesus living within them, which is why they are a temple of God; therefore, they cannot worship other gods.

This biblical passage emphasizes all the things that we as Christians should not associate with. Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Don’t team up” (NLT); in other words, we can be the ones who put ourselves in situations like this and decide to live unequally yoked. However, it is important to clarify that the passage does not refer to isolation. Avoiding an unequal yoke does not mean distancing ourselves from people who aren’t Christians, but rather from the wrong things they do.

We are called to build real and deep friendships with nonbelievers, spreading the love of Christ, but we cannot agree with sin, nor participate in it (John 17:15-18). When we are among people who are not Christians we should give testimony of Jesus Christ, and oftentimes this involves knowing how to say no in many situations. Jesus Christ always walked among corrupt people and gentiles, but He never contaminated Himself with their sins, He didn’t accept or conform to their behavior, and He showed them the path of light by preaching the gospel and repentance.

Are you choosing your associations wisely?

Written by Lisanka Martínez, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Venezuela

When we read in Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (NIV), it is necessary to keep in mind that it is a command for all Christians in all times, places, and circumstances. Because of this, we notice the commitment that it represents to be able to express ourselves, as the Word indicates, so that our speech is edifying for those who listen to us, always avoiding the opposite.

This commitment, I confess, has been an uphill struggle for me on several occasions, and incredibly more so in my life as a Christian. Before I studied the Word, when I read or listened to this verse, it seemed to me to be directed at people who were mean in their language, uncontrolled, or who always spoke with malice and double meanings, offending and mocking others. I thought it was not addressed to me, who, although I said a bad word from time to time, tried to be careful where and to whom I said it, being respectful of the people with whom I had some contact.

Later, as a Christian, I remember an anecdote that happened to me during a discipleship class in which I participated shortly after being baptized.

I arrived 15 minutes early to the meeting set for 8 a.m. and I found only the sister in charge of the class who had been there since 7:30 a.m. The rest of the group arrived in a span of half an hour. Much later, the sister who led the class was the last to arrive with another of the sisters. When I asked them what had happened to them and why they were so late, the accompanying sister told me that it was the time the person in charge had told her because they needed to wait until everyone was there before beginning.

I was very upset, and I let the leader know that I thought it was disrespectful for her to arrive almost an hour late to start the class. My attitude had its immediate response: her face was transformed, and she spent the next half an hour sharing an improvised lecture (with its corresponding biblical passages) in which she explained why a neophyte like me should not call out a more mature woman in the faith. I listened to her speech quietly, still upset, and then we finally moved on to the prepared class material. Of course, nothing she said convinced me that she hadn't disrespected all of us. Being Venezuelan, I should have been used to that characteristic of many of my compatriots: the failure to comply with schedules and the lack of respect for others' time; however, I was not and still am not.

Reflecting on this experience, I now think that she, with more experience in the faith, should have simply apologized to everyone for being late and told me, the insubordinate one, that we would talk more calmly about the subject later, instead of showing that she was in charge and that the rest of us should respect and obey her. In conclusion, we both failed as friends, sisters, and group members.

How many of you have had something like this happen? (I remember a story shared by our sister Michelle where she related a similar experience involving a church trip to the beach, found in the book, In God’s Right Hand). Fortunately, those experiences now seem very distant, and we remember them more objectively, although for everyone in the group that day, it would not have been edifying despite the use of the Bible and the fact that no corrupt words were used.

Studying Social Work, I learned about what it means to be in a group and even more so if we formed a team: the commitment, the level of confidentiality, and cohesion that this implied. It should have been a piece of cake to transfer that to my church groups many years later. However, experience has shown me that I have failed in my commitment to God and to the members of the group because of the way I am, always trying to give instructions about the right way to do or say things without being loving, understanding, and compassionate enough in most cases. My commitment is not only to teach, but also to listen and show the greatest empathy, and I want my face and gestures to reflect the love of Christ and not just my words. Now, I work daily to correct and change with God's help.

Do you hear yourself and your sisters in your small group showing love?

Written as an interview between Michelle J. Goff and Johanna Zabala, Iron Rose Sister Ministries Volunteer in Venezuela

       1. Michelle: When you think of small groups, what comes to mind?

Johanna: Today, I consider small groups as very important in our significant relationships. They allow us to interact and learn from one another. Each teaching or learning through these relationships reminds me of the moment when our beloved Lord Jesus selected His disciples with a holy purpose (Mark 3:16-19).

Every relationship brings different learnings and lessons. For me, interpersonal relationships develop internal confidence and trust, and each person in the group develops distinct connections with those around them.

Since creation (Gen. 1-2), when our Heavenly Father said, “Let us,” He gave us the best original example of connection, unity, and a team.

       2. Michelle: What would be some examples of small groups that have this type of connection, unity, or that work in a team today?

Johanna: We are always interacting and learning in our everyday lives. The family fulfills a paramount function in relationships since it is the trigger for ongoing communication. It is through the interaction with those in our environment that provides the opportunity to know and understand the exchange of experiences, knowledge, feelings, and actions for growth.

Within my own routines, I have discovered how useful and necessary it is to be able to count on my support groups and friendships in the various areas of my life. My own family is an example of a small group. My husband has an important role as the leader in our joint direction as a couple, and the direction of our children. Also, as a family, we serve as a group and individually in the church and secular functions.

       3. Michelle: Now that you’ve mentioned how a family can serve as a small group in the church, what other small groups do you know in the church?

Johanna: In the church and other life experiences, small groups are visible in every ministry. Activities are rolled out that are very well structured, as God set in order. Small groups are what work together to realize their results.

Specifically, I love the work with Sunday school classes. Even though they may seem simple, they are to be highly regarded. As a group of teachers, together with the parents, united in the Lord’s purpose, we focus on preparing the child or teen that will later become an adult and will form part of his or her own small group, collaborating in the Lord’s great work.

Then, I love and value my ladies’ prayer groups. Connection is based on direct communication with our Creator. But here, not praying individually but rather as a team, we learn to know each other more in love, forgiveness, and friendship as the Lord commands.

       4. Michelle: I remember that you have a lot of experience with special needs children. I think this can illustrate the grace that we should extend in small groups.

Johanna: Yes. On a secular level, God Himself has granted me education and experience in this branch of psychopedagogy (the psychological study of teaching). For years now, along with the great privilege of being His daughter, on various occasions I have been entrusted with the care and charge of various small groups of children with special education needs.

Those students did not all learn in the same way, at the same time, or at the same rhythm. But they did learn and achieve their scholastic requirements. This prompted me to pray for wisdom, and by loving them in this way, together we could achieve significant learning according to their academic needs.

All of this strengthened the relevance of my friendships in small groups and the transcendental nature of relationships—personal, family, and social—toward the understanding of our expanded communication.

       5. Michelle. True! I agree completely. And if you allow me to share an example… I apply the same concept to my sisters in Christ, those with whom I have shared in small groups: Martha likes it when everything is organized and spelled out in detail. That’s how she communicates. Sue prefers that you give her the overall plan and a green light to do her part. Lisa wants everything to be done with a little song. What a blessing when I learn from their different perspectives and communication styles, whether we are meeting in a small group to pray and study the Bible together, or when we are planning a children’s class together.

       6. Michelle: Sister Johanna, thank you for the illustrations from your own life. Is there anything else you want to share in conclusion?

Johanna: We can see that the congregations of the Churches of Christ [particularly in Latin America and some in the U.S.] are not very large in number. However, we do have love and brotherhood throughout the world, which leads me to understand that united together we are great, to the glory of our Heavenly Father. In whichever of our small groups, it is important to know that we listen to get to know each other, help each other, love, forgive, and persevere with one another in what we believe for the preservation of our souls.

In what small groups are you currently active in your own congregation? Let’s celebrate them!

Written by Wendy Neill, Advancement Coordinator for Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Arkansas

I grew up in a thriving church of around 3,000 people. When I tell people that, they often say, “I don’t like big churches. It’s too hard to get to know people.” Yes, it is impossible to get to know that many people. Those who only come to a large assembly on Sunday morning don’t grow very much in their faith. That’s why it is important to “think small.”

GoodFaithMedia estimates there are about 2.6 billion followers of Christ in the world today. How did Jesus start this worldwide movement? One by one, and through small groups. While Matthew was sitting in his tax office, “Jesus said to him, ‘Follow Me.’ So he[Matthew] arose and followed Him” (Matt. 9:9 NKJV). He called out to Simon Peter and Andrew as they were going about their daily work of fishing. “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men" (Mark 1:17).

Gradually, Jesus surrounded Himself with a group of disciples. We don’t know how many. After spending some time with them, He talked with His Father and made a focused decision.

One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles. (Luke 6:12-13 NIV)

With this small group of twelve, Jesus changed the world. He had other disciples who followed Him, including women (Mark 15:41), and He preached to and healed large crowds of people. But He gave special teaching, care, and insight to these twelve. He explained parables to them, He sent them out with miraculous powers, and He went through storms with them. He focused on the twelve because He knew they would each disciple others, even after He left this earth. And it worked. His teachings spread like wildfire.

Within that group of twelve, He had three that were His inner circle: Peter, James, and John. He kept them closest in His moments of need. When He knew His death was drawing near, He took those three up to a high mountain. They had the privilege of witnessing the appearance of Elijah and Moses, encouraging Jesus to remain strong and finish His mission (Matt. 17). On that dreadful night before He was betrayed into the hands of the Pharisees, He had a special “Last Supper” with all twelve. He prayed for them, gave them some final instructions in John 13-17, and took them to Gethsemane so He could pray for strength. But in that final stretch, He only took the three with Him.

We can follow this same pattern in our relationships. My childhood faith was nourished in that big church through small group relationships. Adults taught my fourth-grade class. A young couple taught us as seventh-grade girls. My youth group numbered 200, but I had a group of about twelve close friends. We served orphans in Jamaica, built a Sunday school classroom for a poor church in south Texas, and encouraged each other in our faith. As an adult, I have had small group studies with college students or other adults in my home. And I have two or three women that I can call any time to pray for me or to walk with me through a hard time.

There are so many ways that we can seek to be like Christ. One of them is to think small. Small groups allow you to share your heart and to get beyond the pleasantries.

Are you part of a formal or informal small group of Christians? Do you have three women in your life who help you grow? If not, I encourage you to seek out and cultivate those relationships with other disciples. They are your “Iron Rose Sisters”!