Written by Abigail G. Baumgartner, intern for Iron Rose Sister Ministries
Middle school is not often remembered fondly. We see old pictures, then laugh and cringe as we remember the awkwardness of every phase. I certainly have memories like that, but I treasure them as memories of how I've grown. One such memory comes from my eighth-grade year. I had already given my life to Christ at that point, but I was facing some hard things, and I was lonely. Until, one day, I awoke with indescribable joy! This joy came from a feeling that God was walking through life with me. God felt closer than ever before, and this joy was the deepest emotion I had ever experienced. At age 14, I was sure I had reached the pinnacle of Christian maturity; I would feel this joy for the rest of my life.
But, over time, the feeling of God's daily presence faded, and my joy faded, too. I was still pursuing God, but suddenly I did not feel that same rush of joy. I thought I had angered God somehow and that He withdrew from me because He no longer loved me. I felt frustrated, fearful, and discouraged.
What had I done that God would leave me?
I battled that question for years. Thankfully, the adults in my life encouraged me to continue pursuing God by reading His Word, praying, and seeking Him with all my heart. Eventually, God showed me that He never left me alone; He was just calling me to a greater joy, and I had to let go of my old ways to make room for the new.
The joy I discovered in eighth grade was rooted in feeling God's presence emotionally. If I felt Him with me, I was joyful, but if I did not feel Him there, I was not. That joy was based on my feelings. But my feelings often change based on what I have for dinner. I am inconsistent.
God, on the other hand, "… is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Heb. 13:8, NIV). I know He never left me because, in Matthew 28:20, He says He is "...with [me] always" (NIV). In fact, as a Christian, nothing can separate me from His love (Rom. 8:38-39, NIV).
Through His Word, God redefined joy for me. I now understand that True Joy is rooted in God and His promises, not in a feeling. Joy in the Lord is my response to who He is and all He has done for me.
Feelings of joy are beautiful blessings from God, but I can still be Joyful with or without those emotions. In my Christian walk today, my Joy is securely rooted in who God is rather than how I feel (Phil. 4, NIV).
Just like remembering middle school, when I reflect on my spiritual journey, I am amazed by how much I've grown. When I reach points in the journey where I am content to stop and enjoy the view, God still calls me to something more and draws me closer to Himself. I cannot think of a better reason to rejoice!
How has God redefined Joy for you? How have you grown as a result of pursuing Him?
