“You mean you would take time every week to meet with me and study the Bible? Are you sure that isn’t going to be a burden? I just have so many questions,” Fernanda timidly asked Michelle the first time they sat down to chat over coffee. Michelle’s grin turned into a full-toothed smile as she responded, “There is nothing I would rather do than take the time to study the Bible with you! And, you know Mackenzie who first introduced us when you came to my house for an arepa night? She interned with me this past summer and I would love for the three of us to sit down and study together. I’m sure we can find a time that works for all three of us.” Fernanda continued to shake her head in disbelief that there were people willing to take the time to answer her questions about God, baptism, and the Bible.

Fast forward through weeks of Bible studies with Mackenzie and Michelle alternating the teaching. “Fer” took notes, came with questions about the verses we were to study next, and her passion to learn more continued to grow. Her hunger for God’s Word did not stop with her baptism on February 14, 2018. Valentine’s Day was a perfect day to declare the true meaning of love. By pronouncing her love and commitment to God through uniting herself with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection, her demonstration of love for God on that day became infectious to others.

One month later, Fernanda’s friend María, who was there as a witness to Fer’s baptism, was baptized. Michelle, Fer, María, Mackenzie, and others continued to study the Bible and develop deeper mentoring relationships.

Fernanda graduated and returned to Nicaragua. While she and Michelle continued to stay in touch, the communication was sporadic, but no less deep in Biblical discussion. In October 2020, Michelle received the following WhatsApp message from Fer…

Hello Ms. Michelle!
I have faith that you’re seeing how great God is always.
I am writing to you because I was reflecting on my Christian path and the day of my baptism came to my mind, and I went to watch the video. Guess what? I saw you as that first person who came to hug me after I gave myself to God.
And I thought... wooooow. God used you to instruct me in the faith, to walk His beautiful way, to not give up on me and spend your time reading His good news, to answer many questions I had had for years, to encourage me to make the best decision of my entire life. I remember I told you I wanted to get to a point where I felt like I knew enough to get baptized, and then how the Spirit put that feeling of “it’s time” on me. You never said, “Wait more.” Instead, you rejoiced the night before my baptism. February 14, 2018. A date to never forget.
I love you!!!

Michelle’s tearful and grateful response invited Fer to find a time to catch up via video chat. After filling each other in on life, Fernanda’s passion for learning more about the truths from God’s Word became evident. She was reading a “Christian” book and was unsure how to discern whether or not there was truth in what they were proclaiming. Michelle thanked her again for asking the right questions and, instead of answering her questions, Michelle equipped Fernanda with the tools to answer them for herself from 1 John 4, Matthew 7, and several other passages. Fer took notes and immediately applied the verses to her initial question. The best part was when she shared that she can’t wait to share these tools and these truths with her family and with others.

Two by two by two. 2 Timothy 2:2. Teaching to teach. From interns to baby Christians, growing in their passion and knowledge to be shared with others, we rejoice in the way God has used these Iron Rose Sisters to expand the kingdom, beyond borders.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries 

My youngest sister used to decorate beautiful ceramic mugs for me, but she had to stop this practice because I broke every single one. The last one, she rescued before I could break it. I never broke them intentionally. I used them all the time until my clumsiness or a very hard floor caused them to break.

Thankfully, my relationship with my sister was not dependent on the lifespan of those ceramic mugs. After we have gone through a time of brokenness, our commitment to the relationship, the covenant we have made, has actually been strengthened through the brokenness. (See thevideo on Redefined Identity that we narrated together and that illustrates brokenness.)

Still, we cry when things break. Broken relationships are more painful and evoke many more tears than broken dishes.

When my ex called off the wedding and permanently ended our relationship two and a half months before we planned to walk down the aisle, I was devastated. Not only was the relationship broken, I was broken—shattered in a million pieces and disoriented beyond a simple state of confusion. Brokenness was my constant companion for more than three years.

When a relationship covenant is broken, there are a few things that inevitably happen.

1. We lose trust in people.
2. We lose trust in ourselves.
3. We doubt our trust in God.

Single-again women, especially the divorced or separated, I’m sorry for what you are going through and please know that no matter the stage of your healing process, you are not alone! Also, please hear that you are not going crazy! Broken covenants are messy! And they are not what God has designed.

If your spouse broke covenant with you, I grieve with you. Our God can redeem anything and bring about good, even in the midst of the bad (Rom. 8:28).

If you are the one who broke covenant, please know that God’s redemption and forgiveness are possible (Ps. 103:10-13; Eph. 1:7-8).

If the breaking of covenant was necessary for your safety or that of your children, I applaud your bravery and pray that there are others nearby who are able to walk with you and support you in tangible ways (Ps. 103:6; Is. 61:1-3, 7).

Relationships are at the core of who we are and what define us. We learn and teach through relationships—and not all the lessons are positive. Sometimes we are learning what not to do or attempting to teach something we are unfamiliar with because of our past.

Sisters, one thing that I learned is that no matter how much my trust wavers, God’s love for me does not.

Three key lessons I learned through my season of the broken covenant of relationship:

1. God is eternally faithful and unconditional in His covenant (Lam. 3:22-26; Heb. 13:20-21).
2. God allows people to have free will and I must accept that (Gen. 2:16-17; Rom. 7:15-24).
3. Redemption and healing are possible, but they do take time (1 Pet. 2:24; James 5:16).

As I mentioned, a broken promise in relationship is deeply painful and causes us to doubt whether we can trust the other person in the future. My deeper doubts were whether or not I could trust myself to know whether I was a good judge of character, since I chose to be with someone who later broke his promises.

On many levels, I still respected and loved my ex—to the point that when he made his decision clear, I didn’t fight him on it, nor try to convince him otherwise. In his free will, he had chosen to end the relationship. Thankfully for us, it was before we entered into the covenant of marriage. Yet the brokenness I felt was as if he had broken that level of relationship covenant.

In time, I forgave him, but it was not something I could forget. God accompanied me in my grief. He did so through supportive friends, their prayers, then later my own. God was patient with me while I had to sit in the balcony on the furthest row from the pulpit because my pain level was proportionate to my physical proximity during a Sunday morning service.

God loved me through my obedient worship, going through the motions and not yet “feeling it.” God spoke to me through Bible verses that would appear in my social feeds, in conversations, in Bible study, or in prayer.

Over time, God affirmed a quote a friend had shared early on: “Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Time reveals how God can heal all wounds.” Amen!

Part of my healing has been a deeper level of empathy for others who have faced similar pain. The comfort I have received, I have shared with others (2 Cor. 1:3-6).

It is my prayer that God reveal His eternal faithfulness to such a degree that it overshadows any broken covenant of relationship.

Do you believe? Lord, help us overcome our unbelief.