Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Written by Michelle J. Goff

February is Iron Rose Sister Ministries’ Prayer Month—always has been, always will be. We prefer to adopt a “pray without ceasing” mentality, but it is encouraging when we can set aside a specific time to pray together over the same things.

As we usually do, we have made a Prayer Calendaravailable that has a prayer prompt and a scripture reference for each day. There is also an information page that has more detailed instructions about other Prayer Month activities, like the new Monday evening open prayer hour we are offering via Zoom.

The first of those Prayer Nights is tonight, February 1, 7pm Central (and all other time zones listed on the info page). We will have four Breakout Rooms: one for English-speaking women, one for Spanish-speaking women, one for women who want to pray and/or hear prayers in both English and Spanish, and finally one for men that want to join in prayer for Iron Rose Sister Ministries. Prayers in that room will also be in English and Spanish. The Zoom link for the Monday Prayer Nights is also on that info page.

Our biggest prayer for our Prayer Month is that each of us individually and all of us as a we join in prayer, will be redefined by it.

May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. (Ps. 141:2)

James 5:13-18 details many of the merits and purposes of prayer. As you read these verses below, mediate on how both the person doing the praying and the person being prayed over are being redefined by prayer, even before any answer to that prayer is revealed by God.

¹³ Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. ¹⁷ Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. ¹⁸ Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

How does the process of redefinition happen through prayer?
How have you been redefined by prayer in the past?
Are you ready to be redefined by prayer along with us this month?

Written by Michelle J. Goff

Through the pandemic, we have had the blessing of seeing an increase in the number of babies! I love to hold babies, meet their needs, snuggle them, put them to sleep… I love everything about babies. In the U.S., I speak to babies in Spanish. In Latin America, I speak to them in English. I want them to hear another beautiful language. They are sponges and their brains are growing. When they hear another language and learn new things, more neural pathways are opened.

Over time, they learn more and more. Their teeth are formed, and they get to know new foods and flavors. They learn to crawl, to walk, and then to run. They say their first word and then start to form small sentences. When I was eighteen months old, I was riding in the car with my mom. She was always talking to me, narrating whatever was going on in the world around us. That day, I responded to my mom in a conversational way, and two things happened. 1) Mom realized that there was a little person in there! 2) A conversation began that has continued all the way to today.

From the day we are born, we are born. Period. Whether we are eighteen months or eighteen years old, we are no more or less born than the day in which we were born. We grow. We mature. We learn. We transform. But, until we die, we continue to have been born.

Something else that has happened during the pandemic is that weddings have become simpler. The couple has realized that the union through marriage is more important than the party of a wedding. Whether it is a civil ceremony or a large wedding with all their friends and family surrounding them, one couple is no more or less married than the other. They are married. Period.

My parents have been married forty-five years. During their first year of marriage, they went through a lot of challenging times. In many ways, they were (and still are) opposites. My mom grew up in a large metropolitan city and was a special ed teacher. My dad grew up on the farm and got his PhD in analytical chemistry. In spite of their differences and difficulties, they have grown, matured, and learned through marriage. They have been transformed and they continue to be married. From the day they first got married, they were married. At eighteen months and eighteen years, they were no more or less married than the day of their wedding or today.

In the Bible, our relationship with God is compared to birth and to marriage. We are born again (John 3:3-7; Rom. 6:4; 1 Pet. 1:23). And we are married with Christ, the Lamb (Is. 61:10, 62:5; John 3:29; Rev. 19:7, 21:2, 9).

When we are born again in Christ, we are made new. We must grow, mature, learn and be transformed, but we continue to be spiritually born.

When we are married to Christ, we enter a new union. We grow, mature, learn, and are transformed. However, we continue to be spiritually married.

A Christian is no more born nor more married on the final day of her life than she was on the day of her baptism.

There are people who are more mature than others. There are marriages that are stronger than others. The more mature and the less more mature are no more born again than others. Similarly, the married to Christ are no more or less married to Christ. However, we recognize who is acting more married than others.

These analogies allow us to reflect on holiness. From the day in which we are born again, since we committed ourselves in union to Christ, God sees us as holy. From that day to the final day in which we are presented to Him, we are no more or less holy. In Christ, we have been clothed with Christ and He sees us as holy and without reproach.

 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. (Eph. 1:3-10)

Later in Ephesians 1, God affirms that we have been given the Holy Spirit as a seal and guarantee of our holiness. Through the Holy Spirit, God helps us to grow, mature, learn, and be transformed through the process of sanctification… then others, by our speech and actions, can recognize that we have been born again, married to Christ, and holy.

True or False? I am equally holy today as I was the day I was baptized.
True or False? I can live out my holiness in more ways through the process of sanctification.

Written by Michelle J. Goff

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight…” (Ps. 19:14) “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks…” (Luke 6:45)

Scripture is filled with instructions about our speech, as well as the importance of listening to God first, and then to others (James 1:19).

James, the New Testament “Proverbs,” dedicates about a fourth of his 5-chapter book to the tongue. The book of Proverbs includes more than 130 warnings about the tongue, our words, and other similar admonitions about communication—the speaking and the listening. These two books are not the only ones with instructions about how our communication should be redefined by God and His wisdom.

“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Prov. 21:23).

“For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body” (James 3:2).

Our words matter. They have an impact. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Wrong! Words can build up or tear down, bless or curse. Both Solomon and James contrast the blessings and the curses that can come from what we say to others. They also both highlight the importance of seeking wisdom in our speech, attitudes, and actions. God promises that if we ask for wisdom, He will provide it (James 1:5).

We all readily accept the conceptual need for wisdom in our communication, both the listening and the speaking. However, we listen with our own filters in place. We make assumptions. We speak with the urgency of ensuring that our message is well-received and understood. How can we redefine our communication so that it is in line with the Spirit?

Top Three New Testament Suggestions for Redefining our Communication:
• “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col. 4:6)
• “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29).
• “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).

Common Threads:
How do you want to grow and bloom in your redefined communication—more in the listening or the speaking? Please be specific and don’t forget to share it with an Iron Rose Sister so that you can pray together.

Are there any barriers to communication that you know exist between you and another person? They may be thorns hindering the redefined communication.

One specific area in which you can dig deeper in redefined communication is to reflect on those with whom you communicate well. What’s different about that relationship compared with those with whom you don’t communicate well?

As you answer these questions, it can be easy to get defensive. I encourage you to bathe this topic in prayer. Redefine your communication with God by talking with Him openly about this area of growth and listening to His guidance.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Esther was unaware of the impact that her life would have on the Jewish people, her people. When she answered the call to bravery and potential sacrifice, her uncle spoke these oft-quoted words, “And who knows but that you have come to [this] position for such a time as this?”

 When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:12-14)

A simple Jewish girl, an orphan, was raised by her close relative, Mordecai. Trusting his guidance, she entered the contest for who would become King Xerxes’ new wife. Wisely taking the advice of the king’s servants and the head over all the young virgins, she won the favor of the king and became queen.

However, every good story has a capital villain, a true enemy; it’s the character we love to hate. Within the book of Esther, that villain is Haman. He is selfish, brooding, self-centered, glory-seeking, and cannot stand those who don’t see things his way. Ugh!

As the story unfolds, we discover that Haman has selected the Jews, the chosen people of God, as the recipients of his rage. Mordecai had refused to bow down to him, so now all of the Jews had to pay.

When we already know the end of the story, we may not understand the risk Esther took by approaching the king without being summoned. She, her maidens, Mordecai, and others spend three days fasting and praying before she approaches the king. The tension continues to mount as Haman’s anger grows. In the meantime, God reminds the king of Mordecai’s unrewarded heroism. Will God’s people be saved in time? Why doesn’t Esther just go ahead and tell the king what is happening at the first banquet instead of asking him to another one and waiting another day?

As a child, there are stories that we request again and again. A parent with tired eyes can nearly quote every page as the child also memorizes the narrative, learning many truths through the wonder of reading. One of those important lessons is that we can trust the ending of the story. Fairy tale endings are possible; dreams can come true; dragons will get slain; heroes will arise.

Bible stories are filled with the best heroes and the reminders that God is always in control. We can trust the ending of Histories. I encourage you to read the story of Esther this week. We intentionally selected this story to highlight this week as it coincides with Purim, March 16-17.

Purim is celebrated every year (typically mid-March according to the Western calendar). Children reenact the story, often with costumes or puppets. The festival is a family and community gathering in which the people remember God’s protection from their enemies and provision for their needs (see Esther 8-10).

As with the end of the story of Esther, for those who are on God’s team, it is true that the good guys win and the bad guys lose. In the middle of the story, we may have our doubts, but the book of Revelation reminds us that God is ultimately and definitively victorious.

When the story of Esther is retold as part of Purim, there are certain facets of “audience participation.” The reenactment is intended to be humorous. Therefore, every time Haman enters the story, the children “boo” or “hiss.” Little girls cheer every time Esther’s name is mentioned. Similarly, young men champion Mordecai as the hero of the story. More modern-day narrations may include a tongue-in-cheek reference to Queen Vashti as an early promoter of “women’s lib.” Other colorful characters are interspersed throughout the story, as well.

The story of Esther is rich in its descriptive characters, its narrative form (following the Jewish pattern of storytelling), and its redemptive ending. I have adopted the practice of rereading the Biblical account at least once/year, as inspired by the Purim festival.

Similarly, the Passover story is told once/year at Easter. It is rich in its descriptive characters, its narrative form, and its redemptive ending—in the Exodus account and, of course, as a foreshadowing of Christ as our eternal Redeemer.

I pray that you have been inspired to reread the story of Esther this week, delighting in the reminders of truth or seeds of faith that we and Jewish children have celebrated for centuries. Which part of the story do you love to remember or meditate on? Be sure to share why!

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

“I was always a sucker for foreign accents. But Mahlon’s accent was different. And his family was different. I had only met a few Israelites prior to his family’s arrival in my hometown and none had settled there. My unfamiliarity with Israelites, other than the fearful tales of their powerful God, became apparent the more I got to know the family.

I had met them in the village shortly after their arrival and began a friendship with Mahlon’s mother, Naomi, since we frequented the same market. They had come to Moab for a time while a famine ravaged Israel.

Elimelek and Naomi spoke often of the god of Israel. Jehovah, they called him. They recounted stories of him saving his people from slavery under the Egyptians and separating the Red Sea so they could cross on dry land. Every story I heard of their God’s provision and power fascinated me more and more about Jehovah God and drew me closer to this Israelite family.

As a result of our budding relationship, I was saddened with them when Elimelek died suddenly and unexpectedly. Naomi’s and my friendship grew even more with his passing. I had never lost anyone in my immediate family, but to see her pain, walk with her through that time of pain, so far from home… It was an honor to join with her in that time of grief…”

Have you ever inserted yourself into a Bible story in such a way that you imagine how someone might have felt? What they were thinking? It is a moment to “walk in their dusty sandals” and discover some of the depth of the relational truths behind the scenes of the stories of the Bible.

The teaser written above, from Ruth’s perspective, is the beginning of the ePetal study, Iron Rose Sisters: A deeper look at Ruth and Naomi. I take some creative license at the beginning of the study, presenting a plausible monologue from Ruth. Then, we dive into the four-chapter book of the Old Testament in order to reflect on the story of the relationships found there.

I invite you to read the ePetal study and invite a friend to read it with you! It is a single lesson from the book of Ruth, inviting Christian sisters to serve as Iron Rose Sisters—iron sharpening iron while encouraging each other to be as beautiful as a rose, in spite of a few thorns. Ruth and Naomi took turns being Iron Rose Sisters for each other, just as we go through seasons in which we need our Iron Rose Sisters to lean on. And after God rebuilds that strength in Him, through those women, we are able to be the hands, feet, ears, and shoulders of God for them.

Aside from the one-another relational elements in the book of Ruth, we hear the story of King David’s great-great grandparents. And when we connect this story to the big picture story of the Bible, we remember that God loves and recognizes foreigners and women, even mentioning them by name in the genealogy of His Son (Matt. 1:5).

It is a story of redemption with Boaz foreshadowing the way in which Christ buys us back as a kinsman redeemer, elevating us from a place of bitterness and loss to a place of joy and hope!

Yet this redemption would not have been possible if Ruth had not maintained her commitment to Naomi and to God.

The monologue in the ePetal study concludes the narrative of Ruth 1 in this way:

“A third attempt to convince me to return home was imminent; therefore I carefully prepared my words in response to Naomi’s forthcoming arguments. ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.’

She was finally convinced of my determination to stay with her, which allowed us to continue on our way. We had already been through so much together. I was fully committed to our relationship. And while the road we traversed carried us to Bethlehem, the journey we commenced when our friendship began left much to be seen and experienced.

Early on, I had no idea the ways in which Jehovah God, who I also now serve, would use me, His humble servant Ruth, as His instrument to bless Naomi and her family. I never imagined that I would be included in the lineage of Christ, and be abundantly blessed by a life dedicated to Him.”

Is there an Iron Rose Sister with whom you can make a commitment to walk with each other as you each walk with God? How have you seen God bless a relationship like that in the past? Or what hope do you hold for an Iron Rose Sister relationship in the future?

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Executive Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Second Timothy 2:2 is illustrated in the numerals of the upcoming year, 2022.
“And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.”

2—What you have learned…
0—It’s not about you.
2—Teach it to others…
2—Who will teach it to others.

2022 is a reminder of 2x2x2.

When Jesus sent out the 12 (Matt. 10)…
When Jesus sent out the 72 (Luke 10)…
When Jesus sent out all His disciples through the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20)…
Jesus modeled and taught what He asked them to model and teach, even today and in 2022.

2—What Jesus heard from His Father…
0—It wasn’t even about Him (John 12:49).
2—Jesus taught to others…
2—Who would teach others…

Because of Jesus’ teaching and His pattern of teaching to teach to teach, we are coworkers in His kingdom today.

As a ministry, Christ’s pattern of organic multiplication in teaching and Paul’s mentoring example, specifically in 2 Timothy 2:2, have been our model. What we plant, you water, and God brings the growth (1 Cor. 3:4-9). As such, we are “coworkers in God’s service.” And we are EXTREMELY GRATEFUL for your partnership as co-laborers in His vineyard.

We celebrate the growth that God has brought about in 2020 and 2021. In no way did God stop working during the pandemic! The growth He had planned for Iron Rose Sister Ministries has been fruitful in ways that give Him all the glory. The God-stories are infectiously told, bringing delight to our eyes and joy to our hearts… YOU have helped make them possible. Thank you!

As we move forward in 2022, may you also see the year number as a visual reminder of our mission and our vision. We invite you to partner with us in prayer and financially, whether a one-time donation of $22 or a pledge of $22/month. We value equally those who can contribute $2022 or $202, $2.22 or $202/month. We are content and we know that God will provide, as He has done in the past. However, we would love for your partnership with us to be “credited to your account” (Phil. 4:17).

In preparation for 2022 plans, just as Jesus sent out the 12, we have a goal of $12,000 for Giving Tuesday, November 30th. However, stay tuned… The way God multiplies our efforts, it will not take us fifty years (until 2072) to reach a Giving Tuesday goal of $72,000!

Blessings and thanks!
M.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

I felt out of place when I first arrived. Everyone noticed my accent. Thankfully, my oddly red-stained hands from the madder root only served to promote my business.

It started out as a family business. My dad taught me as a child. His red-stained, weathered hands guided mine as he trained me in each step of the dying process.

My favorite part was growing and digging for madder root. It grew best in the moist ground near the river. And every time I went down to the river, I felt closer to God, our Creator, Yahweh, the one true God we worshipped.

I cried out to our God when father got sick. Yet, I had to trust in His plan when father was taken from us and I was left to run the family business. After months of caring for him in his illness, our business had suffered. And with the dip in production, we lost some of our clients. They did not know me as well as they knew father.

And as much as I tried, my father’s reputation was not enough. There was simply not enough business to go around and I was losing much of my profits in transport to other locations in order to obtain new clients.

Try as I might, I had to move to a more strategic location... maybe a more modern or developed Roman city where a female businesswoman would be respected for the quality of her dyes.

Thyatira, my hometown, located in Asia or modern-day Turkey. was not on a well-traversed trade route. However, Philippi was a coastal town, a Roman colony and the leading city in that district of Macedonia. The best part: I heard there was a river outside the city gates.

The river became my home away from home, a place of refuge, of prayer, and a blessed time gathering with other women.

I had been a worshipper of God for some time, but one day, down by the river, I listened to these men teach about Yahweh, the same God I worshipped and in whom I believed. I had never heard anyone speak of God in the way these men did.

As soon as I heard the good news, I had to tell everyone in my house all about this Jesus! Everyone believed along with me and we were all baptized that very day!

I invited Paul and Silas, these teachers and followers of Jesus, to stay in my home. They wanted to continue their journey, but when I offered them generous provisions and rest from their weary travels, they were convinced. The fact that they had already sampled my best chef’s excellent cooking did not hurt matters.

From that point on, my home had greater purpose. Receiving Paul and Silas after their escape from prison… And even the jailer, who was converted on the very night of their escape, and his entire family, became part of our church gatherings from that point forward.

As Paul later wrote us, I continue to rejoice in the way God guided my life to Philippi, in order to hear the good news, and be a proclaimer of that good news to those who buy my purple. I love to tell them about how my red-stained hands pale in comparison to the one who bore my stains on the cross.

For the full story of Lydia and the church In Philippi, read Acts 16. The monologue shared in this post was written as an illustration of how Lydia might have shared her story if she were with us today. We recognize the creative license that was used to create this entry and pray that it is not a distraction from the overall message of Lydia's faith and hospitality.

Written by Michelle J. Goff

Jesus humbled Himself by always looking to His Father. The relationship He had with the Father permitted Him to maintain His focus under a variety of circumstances, always maintaining the right attitude.

Can you imagine what kind of attitude you might’ve had when the Messiah was accused before the Sanhedrin, then taken to Pilate? He was falsely accused, betrayed, despised, rejected… Yet like a lamb being led to the slaughter, He did not open His mouth (Is. 53:7). Wow!
My attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus… in adversity.

Even in my efforts to be welcoming to all, an attitude of self-righteousness can creep in. However, Jesus always chose to see and to spend time with the least popular, the unseen, the rejected, the sick who recognized they needed a doctor… He even invited Himself over to eat with the sinners (Luke 19, Zacchaeus).
Jesus had no home, but He always embodied a spirit of hospitality, an attitude of hospitality.
My attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus… in hospitality.

The introverts prefer to serve behind-the-scenes. The extroverts would rather serve in a more public way—anywhere that is out with the people. No matter our personality type, we want to serve in the ways that we prefer to serve. Jesus chose the lowliest job to show the full extent of His love—washing the disciples’ feet (John 13). “The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28).
My attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus… in service.

The first shall be last and the last shall be first.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
Love God and love others.
My attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus… in everything.

What if my attitude were the same as that of Christ Jesus? How would my day look different? My conversations? My actions and reactions?

If I am to allow God to transform me more and more into the image of His Son, in what area do I need to ask for an attitude adjustment? Have I asked God to redefine my attitude to be more in line with that of Christ Jesus? That may feel like a dangerous prayer, but it is a worthwhile one!

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries, in Searcy, AR

Joy. That would not typically be the word one would use to describe the process of iron sharpening iron. Uncomfortable. Vulnerable. Challenging. Revealing. Humbling. Painful. Those are words that more aptly describe a reaction to discipline, or to one’s faults being pointed out.

When we are children, we are on the receiving end of discipline and correction. My friend’s one-year-old son was screaming mad at her for not letting him play with the trash. The young student may be convinced that she knows how to count, but when she, like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, skips sixteen, she needs to know of her error. Later, the nursing student may not like her mistakes being highlighted by the supervisor, but the training she receives while in a simulation lab is invaluable when it comes time to treat a patient.

How can we learn if we are never corrected?

Spiritually speaking, God uses the Bible is one of our best tools for correction and instruction.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16-17)

One of the other ways that God teaches us is through the iron sharpening iron, one another relationships in His name.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (Prov. 27:17)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Col. 3:16)

When my brothers and sisters in Christ point something out to me that I need to learn, a mistake that I have made, or something I may not be seeing clearly, my initial response is to cringe at being pricked and convicted by my error. However, when I recognize that this is done out of love… when they come to me privately and have prayed over what they are going to say… when we work together to see how God can help me apply this new knowledge… I truly am grateful and filled with joy.

This is a joy that the world would not define in the same way. And it is not a joy that many would seek out—a joy from being corrected by iron sharpening iron.

Through Iron Rose Sister Ministries, one of the things that we make a priority through the equipping and encouraging process is to have Iron Rose Sisters that will be the best cheerleaders for you to be the beautiful rose that God has created you to be. An important part of that Iron Rose Sister relationship is the courage, love, and grace shown through the process of iron sharpening iron level accountability and correction.

My challenge for you today is to pray 1) that God will provide an Iron Rose Sister in your life to bring you joy through the process of correction and growth, and 2) that God will fill you with wisdom when you are given the opportunity to serve as iron sharpening iron for an Iron Rose Sister.

When iron sharpens iron, there may be sparks of strong words. It may cause the temporary pain of conviction. Yet may we remember the eternal joy and gratefulness we have to be molded and shaped more into the image of Christ.

We are redefining joy through the process of iron sharpening iron. Pray that God will lead you to the right person with whom you can share in the Common Threads this week. Choose someone with whom you can be honest and genuine in your desire to grow and bloom. We all have thorns that are hindering our growth. And we are all given the opportunity to dig deeper and have someone hold us accountable.

If you are willing, we would love to hear from you about how this went for you and an Iron Rose Sister. We can rejoice together in all God is doing through each of our lives.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, founder and director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

We do not know who wrote the book of Hebrews. Considering his extensive knowledge of Jewish customs and practices, the author was most assuredly a Jew. Furthermore, he saw his Judaism as an opportunity to appreciate Christ more deeply as the fulfillment of all the Hebrew prophecies and the archetype for all foreshadowing in Hebrew teaching.

When the Holy Spirit inspired this author to pen this letter to the Jews, his primary purpose was to provide assurances based in the Torah and the Prophets. His explanations are rooted in what we know as the Old Testament. His points regarding the supremacy of Christ emphasize the importance of keeping Christ at the center of everything. But why?

The Hebrew audience had grown discouraged. They were doubting whether Jesus of Nazareth really was all of who He said He was. And not many years had yet passed since Jesus’ resurrection. It is traditionally believed that the book was written during the second half of the 1st century. This is less than one generation after Jesus had died.

It doesn’t take long for us to get discouraged. And to forget. If we don’t intentionally remember, we will forget and lose faith. Therefore, we celebrate the God stories in our lives. We delight in sharing with others how living and active God is. We marvel at the power revealed through the stories of the Bible.

The first nine and a half chapters of Hebrews set the stage for the primary encouragement of the letter: Keep the faith!

Allow me a one-sentence summary of each chapter as a preamble to his greatest admonition to keep the faith.

1. Superior to the angels, Jesus was the Son of God.
2. Jesus was 100% God and 100% human.
3. Worthy of a greater honor than Moses, Jesus is the faithful Son over God’s house.
4. Jesus was the ultimate high priest and atonement for our sins.
5. Please believe in Jesus, the source of eternal salvation.
6. God is unchangeable and had this plan from the beginning.
7. Jesus is the guarantor of a better covenant, living to intercede for us, a high priest in the order of Melchizedek.
8. Jesus was perfect and is the mediator of the new covenant.
9. Eternal redemption is possible through the blood shed by the perfect sacrifice, Christ.
10. We are made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

Yet no matter how much evidence there is, no matter how many arguments presented, there is no way to convince someone with total assurance about the Christ. Why? Because no one can believe without faith.

When our faith wavers, we can reflect on God’s faithfulness. When we get discouraged, we can remember the times when Jesus was discouraged and looked to His Father.

The author of Hebrews recognized that many Christian Jews had become discouraged, and their faith was teetering on the edge of giving up.

He reminds his readers:

19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God,

After summarizing the first ten chapters in these three verses (10:19-21), the author begins his encouraging admonition to the Hebrews.

22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Heb. 10:22-25)

The solution?

• Draw near to God. Don’t isolate.
• Recognize the lies and remember our cleansing.
• Hold onto hope. Let go of discouragement.
• Remain faithful as God is faithful.
• Encourage one another. We are not alone!
• Keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb. 12:1). Everything else pales in comparison.

Which admonition from Hebrews is most encouraging and hope-filled for you today?

#IronRoseSister #HIStories #keepthefaith #runtherace #eyesfixedonJesus #Hebrews #MichelleJGoff #blog

Co-written by Chrystal and Michelle J. Goff, sisters in Searcy, Arkansas, volunteer and director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries, respectively

The remnant of Israelites was weary. They had been beaten down and their cities destroyed by their enemies. Many of their relatives that were taken under Babylonian captivity continued to live in exile under Medo-Persian rule. A few waves of Israelites had returned to Judah, under Zerubbabel and later with Ezra, but the temple remained incomplete and the city of Jerusalem in ruins.

Nehemiah was burdened by the broken-down conditions in Judah, as reported by his brother. His family’s place of origin was a heap of rubble, not a town.

They said to me, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Neh. 1:3)

Nehemiah, fasted, prayed, and cried out to God for relief on behalf of his people. Strengthened with resolve, Nehemiah prayed at every step along the way as he, a humble cupbearer to King Artaxerxes, requested the time off, the materials, and letters of safe passage to go and rebuild the city wall.

Yet even before Nehemiah could share with the people what God had placed in his heart to do, he began to face opposition. Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite, “the bullies,” as we will call them, were “disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites” (Neh. 2:10).

The bullies didn’t think they would have to try so hard to oppose Nehemiah. He was a lowly cupbearer, so how would he know how to be a good leader for the rebuilding of the wall? They underestimated God and Nehemiah’s dedication to asking for help to fulfill his calling.

We lose count of the times that Nehemiah finds strength in the Lord to rebuild the wall. He, in turn, encourages the Jews, who have also cried out to God. God provides a solution. The Jews implement it, as they continue building. Then the bullies get angry and try a new scheme… The opposition tried a little bit of everything: rumors, deceit, poking fun, belittling, lies, intimidation, physical and verbal attacks.

Nehemiah and the Jews pray again, God strengthens them, they employ a new strategy, and the bullies get more frustrated. Repeat, ad nauseum!

At one point, the Israelites had to be workmen by day and guards by night. Half worked while the other half stood guard with swords. Those carrying materials could only carry half as much because of their sword in the other hand (Neh. 4:16-18). How frustrating! We can barely walk and chew gum at the same time! But God gave them the strength and balance.

The opposition was filled with obvious lies and manipulative secrecy. Five times in a row, the bullies tried to trap and harm Nehemiah, inviting him to a nearby town. The fifth time, Nehemiah’s response to their flagrant lies is hilarious:

 I sent him this reply: “Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.” (Neh. 6:8)

Sometimes, whatever opposes us, whatever we feel bullied by feels relentless, conniving, wearying, ruthless… and we feel helpless to complete our task. We cry out, “This is trying to slow me down and thwart my efforts. Help!” Crying out to God in prayer and relinquishing the opposition to God, He does provide solutions, strategies, and strength.

They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.” (Neh. 6:9)

Bullied, bantered, and beaten down through the fifty-two days of intensive wall rebuilding and the opposition leading up to that, the Israelites has been strengthened by God. They then gathered before the newly rebuilt Water Gate as Ezra read from the Law.

Years before Netflix, the Israelites binged on the Word of the LORD, from daybreak to noon, and their response affirmed that, “Yes, they were still watching.” They were cut to the heart by what they heard and began to grieve the perpetuated sin of their ancestors.

Yet God strengthened the people with a reminder of what that day was all about: Rejoicing in the strength of the Lord! There would come a time for them to confess their sins, to commit to repentant, changed hearts and practices as the people of God.

Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and teacher of the Law, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, “This day is holy to the Lord your God. Do not mourn or weep… This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Neh. 8:9-10, excerpts)

No matter what the opposition (external bullies or internal struggles), God strengthens us.
The book of Nehemiah concludes with the wall as an instrument of dedication to God’s ways, His Law. On the Sabbath, the gates were closed and locked in protection of the holiness of the day dedicated to God and to remembering Him.

In what ways have you faced opposition to rebuilding or a rededication of all facets of your life to God? How have you seen God strengthen you in that calling?

Written by Michelle J. Goff

I am a tremendous klutz. I have been known to trip on air. During certain hormonal times, my spatial orientation is askew, and I am especially clumsy. My keys get dropped, coffee in spilled, furniture jumps out in front of me to stub my toe, and the counter I plan to lean on is a few inches further away than I calculated. However, I have been assured I am not the only one.

Similarly, I have days when my speech is more clumsy and less considerate. The “thank you” gets dropped. Careless words spill out of my mouth. The minutia of the day frustrates me to the point of hindering a smooth walk through my checklist. The Bible verse I read that morning, fully intending to lean on throughout the day, seems like a distant memory. However, I have been assured I am not the only one.

On those less-than-perfect days, my internal frustration level is high. The negative self-talk can quickly spiral me into a devilish trap. However, God is not surprised by my shortcomings. The kind word of grace He offers provides me with a lifeline, freeing me from the trap. And ladies, I’m not the only one for whom this promise is true. His grace is sufficient for us, for His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9).

When I accept the kind word of grace from God, I am more ready to extend a kind word of grace to others. A simple word of kindness, to ourselves and to others, can make all the difference in how the rest of the day goes.

Accepting God’s kindness can be the first step in extending that kindness to others (Matt. 18:21-35). Kindness is an invitation into relationship. We are drawn to those who are kind. Consistent kindness draws others to us and provides us with the opportunity to share the source of our kindness. 

A kind word to ourselves can dissipate the anger, the frustration, the impatience, and the guilt. A kind word to others allows the Spirit to flow through us, to do His work, to guide, and to comfort. Remember, kindness is one facet of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23)!

What is a simple kind word we can share with ourselves and with others? What difference have you seen a kind word make in someone’s life?

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).

written by Michelle J. Goff

At a birthday party, it came time to serve the cake.
A little boy named Brian blurted out, “I want the biggest piece!”
His mother quickly scolded him.
“Brian, it’s not polite to ask for the biggest piece.”
The little guy looked at her in confusion, and asked,
“Well then, how do you get it?”

We often want to fix someone else’s problem, to take away her pain, or even request the biggest piece of cake on her behalf, but many times the only thing we can do is the best thing we can do: pray. When we let someone know we are praying for them, we affirm three significant truths. These three affirmations of support are, “You are loved. You are prayed for. And you are not alone.”

Satan wants to isolate us. Single and single-again women often are already feeling isolated, ostracized, and alienated. The encouragement and support we can offer one another through prayer are key to feeling heard, valued, and included.

Paul mentions throughout the epistles the strength he gleans from the prayers of others. And his constant prayers for the ones to whom he writes are an evidence of his love for them and the joy with which he remembers them in his prayers (Phil. 1:3-11).

One of my favorite prayers of Paul’s is especially appropriate to be prayed over each other as single women. The truths in Ephesians 3:14-21 speak light into the darkness and power into the weakness. I encourage you to insert a single woman’s name into the prayer as you intercede on her behalf. (I have given you a sample below using my own name.)

 For this reason [out of love for my single friend], I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen [Michelle] with power through His Spirit in [her] inner being, so that Christ may dwell in [Michelle’s] heart through faith. And I pray that [Michelle], being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [Michelle] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Eph. 3:14-21, NIV, adapted)

Sometimes it can be easier to pray for others than for yourself. If you need to read this prayer to yourself first, inserting your own name, go ahead! Aren’t those powerful words? Yes, God loves YOU that much!

While Paul’s examples of prayer are beautiful, the best examples of prayer come from Christ Himself. Jesus taught His disciples to pray (Matt. 6:5-15) and invited them to pray with Him (Luke 9:28). Jesus asked for prayers from His disciples on His behalf (Matt. 26:36-40) and He prayed on their behalf (John 17). In order to keep His focus and maintain His relationship with His Father, Jesus would often take some time away from others and pray (Matt. 14:23; Luke 5:16). On at least one occasion, He spent all night in prayer (Luke 6:12).

And why did Jesus pray on all these occasions? His one single reason: Love—for His Father and for every single one of us.

Drawing from Jesus’ and Paul’s examples, what are some of the benefits and blessings of prayer?

Secondly, what about prayer is supportive of others?

Prayer is fellowship. Prayer connects us with God and with one another on a deeper level than any other form of communication. There is a powerful, humbling vulnerability when we go to God on someone else’s behalf or when we pray together aloud. When you express to someone that you are petitioning God on her behalf, she feels cared for and seen. You are standing in the gap for her with intentionality and sincerity (Rom 15:30).

Bonnie remembers exactly where she was standing when the preacher told her that he stands with her in the gap, that he goes before the throne of God on her behalf. He has reminded her of that truth on other occasions, as well. As a single woman, never married, in her late 30’s, when Bonnie struggles with feelings of loneliness, she remembers the preacher’s prayerful blessing and knows she is not alone.

We do not need to be preachers to stand in the gap with others and partner in prayer with them. Prayer is communion with God and with one another. Who can you fellowship with in prayer today?

Prayer maintains our focus. Whether we are asking for wisdom (James 1:5) or patience in affliction (Rom. 12:12), we can be faithful in prayer bringing others and ourselves before God (1 Tim. 2:1; 2 Tim. 1:3). When we look to Him, He fills us with faith, love, hope, strength, and the same power that raised His Son from the dead (Eph. 1:15-20)!

One single sister, in the context of a Bible study small group, shared, “When a sister in Christ asks me about something specific that we have prayed about together in the past, I am so encouraged. It shows me that I am important enough to her and to God for her to bring my request before our Heavenly Father. It also reminds me that God is the one who can truly make a difference in that situation. Instead of stressing about it, it reminds me to ask myself if I have prayed about it.”

Prayer provides deep connection through shared burdens. Liliana loves to tell other single women about the depth of relationship formed with her prayer partners as they pray over their shared struggles together, as single women.

Katie F., echoing the sentiments of James 5:13-18, says, “I’ve never regretted pausing to pray for someone in the moment. Sometimes it is a silent prayer. And sometimes I stop in the middle of wherever we are and say a prayer for her, out loud, for her to hear the burden that is now shared being lifted to God. Yeah, I have never regretted it.”

Prayer gives it all over to God. The prayer of the persistent widow in Luke 18 demonstrates that it is most important to go to the one who has the power to do something about your circumstances. We cannot handle it on our own and should not even try.

I love how many people partnered in prayer with one single mom, all striving together to give the situation over to God along every challenging step of the way.

Two years earlier, when entering that same courtroom for the first time, the room felt large and everything loomed, including the anticipation of the rulings to be made. Burdened by the effects of sin not her own, she was reaping the consequences of her ex-husband’s decisions. However, on the day of the custody trial, the room felt softer, smaller, even cozy. The difference? The cloud of witnesses that filled the courtroom.

Among those witnesses were the dozen or so who were sworn in before the judge. The forty plus people who trickled in and out during the nine-hour trial were prayer warriors and witnesses to God’s faithfulness. The final group among the cloud of witnesses were the angels fighting in the spiritual battle and softening the cold, daunting nature of the proceedings.

God was glorified. And the greater testimony given for the judge, attorneys, bailiff, and others was not related specifically to the case, but rather to the testimony of how many of her Christian family showed up in physical presence compared to the void of people on his side of the courtroom. The one who showed up big-time, and even showed off, was God who received all the honor and praise for what happened that day.

For a single mom whose life had been turned upside down, she felt affirmed repeatedly that she was never alone. The physical presence of the witnesses... The thousands of prayers being lifted up on her behalf and on behalf of her daughter—even the prayers for her ex-husband to repent… The encouraging messages sent through the private Facebook group in which she sent updates with more specific prayer requests and expressions of praise and thankfulness... Love for God and love for a broken family was the cloud of witnesses' one single reason to show up that day.

This testimony of support is one small example of the power of prayer and the strength of its encouragement to a single or single-again woman (2 Cor. 1:11).

How have you been supported through prayer as a single woman? And how can you offer that prayerful support to others?

Written by Michelle J. Goff

Naomi and Felicity were twin sisters—fraternal twins, not identical ones. Like the meaning of their names, Naomi was pleasant, and Felicity was happy. They shared many things in common and often had parallel experiences even though they were in different classes at school. They lived through good times and hard times growing up. And then, they were both young professionals in search of a job…

Felicity sent out her resume, called to follow up with the companies, and was able to schedule four interviews for the following week.
Naomi sent out her resume, called to follow up with the companies, and was able to schedule three interviews for the following week.
Felicity was happy for her sister.
Naomi felt jealous that her sister scheduled one more interview than she did. Her attitude began to sour.

The week of the interviews arrived…
Felicity chose to wear something she already owned. Naomi felt discontent with her wardrobe. With no time to shop for a new outfit before the first interview, and no money to buy anything anyway, Naomi muttered under her breath as she complained aloud that she had nothing to wear.

Felicity spilled coffee on her shirt, feeling nervous about two interviews on the same day. Grateful that it happened before she left the house, she quickly changes her shirt and runs out the door, grabbing a scarf in case she had another spill later.
Naomi was equally nervous, but her attitude had her focused on lamenting that she only had one interview that day. On an emotional roller coaster, she secretly smiled knowing that she wasn’t the one to spill coffee like her sister did. Yet she frowned in the mirror bemoaning the rumpled clothes she already hadn’t wanted to wear. The clothes had gotten wrinkled after a frantic search for her keys in every nook and cranny of the apartment. Agitated and very late, Naomi finally found her keys and ran out the door, feeling defeated. She assumed that the interview was already a lost cause.

Both girls arrived at their respective interviews and, before I proceed with the story, I invite you to pause with me in order to reflect on a few questions:
How were the two girls the same? How were they different?
What about their attitudes?

As soon as this illustration started, we could’ve renamed Naomi Mara, which means bitter. You may be familiar with that name from Ruth’s mother-in-law in the book of Ruth. Upon their return to Bethlehem, Naomi asked that she be called Mara. Tragic circumstances had left her feeling forgotten, pained, alone, and forsaken. “I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty” (Ruth 1:21). Mara felt a shell of her formerly pleasant self.

In Ruth chapters 2-4, we see Naomi’s attitude begin to change as she recognizes God’s provision and care. She has begun to look to God again and to trust in Him. Since attitude determines the direction we are headed, we have the choice to spiral down or look up.

Back to Felicity and Naomi… Based solely on their attitudes, how do you think the interviews went?

Since this is a completely made-up story for illustration purposes, I am going to allow you to fill in the blanks and imagine how the rest of the story goes. As you play out the scene using your imagination, here are a few important things to keep in mind.

• Our moods shift with the circumstances. Attitude is a choice.
• At any point in a situation, we can choose to change our attitude and positively affect the outcome, especially our response to the outcome.
• God is bigger than any situation or circumstance. He is powerful to redeem and gracious to forgive.
• When we remember that attitude is not dependent on our circumstances, we can choose a good attitude during difficult times.
• The best attitude is one that looks to God, thus allowing us to see Him beyond our circumstances.

How is your attitude today? Are you allowing your mood or your circumstances to dictate how the rest of your day goes? Or are you choosing an attitude that looks to and trusts in God? How can we encourage an Iron Rose Sister in her attitude without dismissing her difficult circumstances?

Written by Michelle J. Goff

Cross-cultural communication is fascinating. As a child, I was introduced to different cultures within our home, starting with my parents… Dad is a PhD Chemist who grew up in a small farming community on the Iowa/Missouri border. Mom is a special education elementary school teacher who grew up in the metropolitan city of Miami.

Dad always leaves doors unlocked. Mom locks all the doors immediately.
Dad prefers ordinal directions (north, south, east, west). Mom gives directions based on landmarks.
Dad makes the bed with the top sheet a certain side up. Mom makes the bed with the top sheet the opposite side up.

Some of these differences are not significant. Others have been a big deal… One of the first mornings as a married couple, it took them three hours to make the bed because of their different preferences on how to make a bed. When they have taught premarital counseling classes regarding “first year adjustments,” they ask the couple to make a bed together, then share their own story.

Within our own families, we create a culture and an expectation. “Normal” is all we have ever known, until we are introduced to someone else’s normal.

I remember Chinese students coming to our home for Sunday lunch and learning how to use a knife and fork to eat the traditional pot roast, potatoes, and carrots. There were no chop sticks, nor rice on our Southern American table. Yet, later, South Americans, like Venezuelans, reminded us that they were American too. Our Puerto Rican friends loved to eat and share the slightly burned rice on the bottom of the pot… a sign that you are family. Have you ever thought about some of those cultural differences?

We cannot recognize our own culture until we are given the opportunity to learn about another culture through our differences.

When we look at the concept of Culture Redefined, here are three questions we can ask ourselves:

1. What have I learned about my own culture in light of another’s culture?
2. What have I learned about someone else’s culture—what we have in common and areas in which we have unique perspectives?
3. What facet of the Christ-like, Kingdom culture should I most emulate in this context or relationship?

Since it is football season in the U.S., I will share that my football culture is one of an LSU Tiger. When I took a group of LSU students up to Ole Miss for a game, we marveled at the differences between tailgating in those two SEC towns. We shared a deep love of football, but probably a deeper love for our team than for the sport itself.

Our Christian culture was challenged when the rival fans began to taunt us, throw things at us, and mistreat us. We recognized that not all LSU fans are also Christians. We also know that not all Ole Miss fans are Christians either. If all Christian football fans are being honest, sometimes our football culture may overshadow our Christian culture.

Family culture, church culture, language culture, local culture, sports culture, school culture… Culture does an excellent job of providing connection and community. However, if our culture is to the exclusion of others, is it a culture that honors Christ?

When Jesus began His ministry, He welcomed individuals from diverse cultural backgrounds to be a part of His Kingdom: Samaritans, tax collectors, fishermen, those with disabilities, Zealots, women, Pharisees… and many more. Some accepted His invitation into a new culture and others did not.

We are each a unique combination of the various cultures we have embraced and emulated. When those cultures are in conflict, how do we choose?

How does God call us to navigate the redefining of culture?

1. We must seek first God’s definition of culture in Christ. It must take precedence over any other cultural markers (Matt. 6:33; 1 John 4:1-6).
2. Cultural redefinition is a process of transformation (Rom. 12:2; 1 Cor. 3:17-18).
3. Our new identity in Christ is the most important foundation of culture, further developed through the Spirit (Gal. 2:20; Acts 2:38; Gal. 5:16-25).

What are your thoughts about culture?
How has your culture been redefined through your coming to Christ?

Written by Michelle J. Goff, founder and director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

When asked to consult regarding the need for a singles ministry in a local congregation, there are two questions I ask before moving forward in the conversation.

1) How do you define singles?
2) Have you spoken with the singles there about this perceived need and what do they say?

In One Single Reason: Conversations with Single Women, I address the myriad of answers that could be provided for the first question.

In its simplest form for church contexts, a single person is someone who is not currently married. However, was this individual married at some point previously? Does she have children? Is she widowed? Does the young professional college graduate have the same “single” status as the divorced woman without kids? And what of those who choose to be single versus those who long to find a spouse? Contented singles or frustrated ones?
Singles. In a society that celebrates individuality, we cannot possibly highlight all of the variations and nuances to each person’s specific story. (One Single Reason, pg. 10)

Interestingly, when I conducted surveys and interviews across the Americas, I had a more difficult time recruiting Latina sisters to participate in the survey because they were using a different definition of “single” than I was using. For them, a single woman is someone who is single and available. If the woman has a boyfriend, a partner, or a husband, at any level of commitment in the relationship, even separated or divorced, she is no longer “single.”

How do you define “single”?

Throughout the book, One Single Reason, I use the singular term “single” to refer to single women (never married) and those who are single again (separated, divorced, or widowed). However, one of the points that is highlighted is that every single one of us, not just the singles, struggle with many of the same things!

When referring to a specific woman’s story, sometimes the details of her marital status were included in the narrative, and at other times, it was preferable to leave out those details in order to illustrate the multiple ways in which others can identify with her plight or her victory.

Outside of the distinction between the ways in which North Americans and Latinas might define the term “single,” language and country of origin were not the most significant contributing factors, statistically speaking, for the vast majority of the responses to the surveys and the interviews. This affirms a greater commonality among all women than the dividing border lines Satan would like to draw between us.

While we may not understand the specific context of someone else’s story, we can listen, learn, and love—our one single reason—in a way that affirms our shared identity in Christ. And if we are listening and learning about the story of someone who is not yet in Christ, our love for her and for Christ compels us to invite her into a shared identity as His beloved daughter!

In the family or the body of Christ, we see a description of many members with different functions (1 Cor. 12; Eph. 4:11-16; others).

May we celebrate each other’s value in the body, especially that of the single women we know. For various reasons, she often feels less a part of the body, less connected, or less valued. And no matter who you are reading this post, single, married, single-again, red or yellow, brown, black or white… please KNOW with certainty how much God loves you and how much He longs for you to reflect His love to others through the love you have for yourself (Matt. 22:39).

If you are interested in continuing this conversation, please check out our latest resource, One Single Reason: Conversations with Single Women. And if you know someone who is not yet familiar with this conversation, but who you know should be invited to the table, especially for how to better listen, learn, and love in a church context, check out One Single Reason: Congregational Strategies from Conversations with Single Women.

As we live out love, let’s see each other as God sees us and allow Him to shape and refine our identities in Him.

P.S. The Spanish book is now available on Amazon and for pre-order on our website!

Written by Michelle J. Goff

For relationships to work, we must work at them. Friendships develop over time and through shared experiences.

Roommates will tell you that clear communication is important. Expectations have to be expressed and explained, then either dismissed, adjusted, or met. Who is going to take out the trash? Do we share meals or do our own? Are you a morning person or a night owl?

For a season, my parents taught a premarital class on first-year adjustments. The blending of two families is not a trivial undertaking. They asked key questions and told funny anecdotes in order to walk the couple through some of the preparation that it takes to make these first-year adjustments. The answers to some questions may appear obvious to one, but the other has a very different way of looking at things. Respectful love and open communication are necessary building blocks for a solid marriage.

Forty-five years later, my parents would tell you respectful love and open communication are still key elements that cannot be ignored. I echo the sentiment of their necessity even though, for me, that has not been evidenced directly through marriage, but rather as foundational factors in the building of all relationships.

Respectful love is not eros love, the romantic type of love that can be fleeting and emotion based. Respectful love is rooted in fileo (brotherly) and agape (unconditional) love, as we find most described in the Bible. First Corinthians 13, for example, presents a love that is not self-seeking. It keeps no record of wrongs.

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never ends.

I don’t know about you, but that type of love seems nearly impossible, unattainable by my own efforts. I can be admittedly selfish. I am least patient with myself, but also impatient with others. My desire to not be taken advantage of leads me to keep a record of wrongs and occasionally be resentful.

In my mind, I know that no matter the type of relationship, if I want it to develop and deepen, it must be grounded in a love that respects the other person, considers his or her needs above our own, and endures.

How do I resolve the distance between the biblical description of love as found in 1 Corinthians 13 and the fallible version of love found in most relationships?

God. Since God is love, I step back and allow Him to define the relationship. Have you thought about having a DTR talk with God? DTR: Define the Relationship.

Because the other way in which we can work toward attaining that kind of love in our relationships is through communication—with God and with the other person.

Not to sound cliché, but sincere, open communication with God through prayer will guide us in redefining our relationships. Communication with God transforms our communication with one another. A foundational relationship with God lays the groundwork for our relationships with others.

Take a moment today to reflect on two relationships you want to see grow. Pray about those two people by name. Ask God to guide your communication. Invite Him, as Love defined, into your conversations and interactions.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, with her mom, Jocelynn Goff

The oldest daughter of a college professor and elementary teacher, my mom grew up learning through at least two different styles of teaching. Not all teaching was formally imparted, of course. My mom never took a speech class from Dr. Brown at Miami-Dade Community College. She never sat in her mom’s classroom during regular school hours, but she did spend time there after school while her mom prepared for the next day’s instruction.

It is no surprise that my mom became a teacher herself. She is a natural teacher and gifted storyteller. Her students would sit up straighter when she offered a “lagniappe story.” Lagniappe is French for “a little something extra,” which meant that this story would not be on the test!

In contrast, when my granddad would pepper us granddaughters with Bible trivia questions during our Christmas visits, he emphasized those of greater importance by saying, “This one will be on the final exam.” What I most learned from those “tests” was his love for Bible study and his diligent commitment to finding little-known jewels in Scripture.

Years later, our conversations have been more give-and-take. I have shared biblical nuggets of truth that I’ve discovered with a similar passion to share it with others. Similarly, my mom and I have transitioned from being exclusively mother and daughter to being Christian sisters and partners in the gospel. The teaching and learning matured and became more mutual.

As you know, our teaching and learning does not come exclusively through teachers, nor through our families. Prayerfully, we seek to be surrounded by others who will invest in us, as well as those with whom we can build relationship. Pivotal teachers can transform our relationship with a certain subject matter… inspiring us to persevere or give up. Close friends teach us what it means to laugh, as we also learn what it means to forgive. Neighbors teach us kindness as we learn how to be a good neighbor ourselves.

There are also those who teach through their words and actions, unaware of how many are watching, learning from their example. This is especially true of our Christian walks. We must be careful to practice what we preach, and we cannot teach what we have not yet effectively learned.

When I asked my mom about a relationship through which she has taught or learned, A.R. Kepple was the first person that came to mind. His simple teaching was a seed planted and watered, week after week. They met at the Downtown Church of Christ in Kansas City, Missouri, the new congregation her parents helped establish in the early 1960’s.

After teaching the children for 20-30 minutes on Sunday evenings, Brother Kepple would invite 7-year-old Jocelynn to join him on the front row during the songs and sermon. After reminding her to mind her manners, her parents granted permission to sit with this retired preacher in his late 70’s.

Once settled with her feet not quite touching the floor, while waiting for the singing to start, Brother Kepple would open his Bible to Matthew 5 and read, “You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world,” pointing to each sentence as he read them.

“He told me that every time I sat with him, and it made an impression on me and planted a seed in my mind and heart and spirit,” Mom recalled. He lived out the teaching he repeated.

Who is someone through whom you have learned what it means to be a Christian? What has it looked like for you to teach others what it means to follow Christ?

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

While making a short trip out of town, I felt torn: too many people to see and not enough time. Instead of spreading myself too thin, I prayed fervently that God would lead me to who might be most encouraged by a visit.

One name kept coming to mind… so I texted my friend and asked if she had some time later that day to get together to catch up. About an hour later, she replied, letting me know that she was going to be getting off work at 4pm and would love to meet.

What she didn’t mention until later was that she wasn’t supposed to get off until 8… and that she rarely ever gets released early from work. That “small” detail of her early availability was only one piece of the God story that was being unveiled.

Friendships that span years of shared experiences develop roots. Even if it has been years since you have spoken, friends can pick up right where they left off and share in the deepest joys and challenges of life.

As my friend and I spoke on the front porch, then over dinner, the evidence of God’s hand at work to orchestrate our time together became more evident. We rejoiced over God’s faithfulness and provision. We wept over the pain of the consequences of sin, even sin that was not our own. We shared the more current struggles that we can lift up to the Father on each other’s behalf.

Our divine appointment became its own God story filled with many mini God stories! And when we departed later that evening, we definitively felt more deeply connected to God and to one another.

As a ministry this year, that is our goal—to equip women to connect to God and to one another more deeply through stories.

When we share our God stories, we open our eyes to how God is working today. We begin to recognize His living and active hand in more and more situations.

The more we see God in our lives, the more our stories become His stories… HIStories.

The more we see God and His love through the stories of Bible, the more we see and trust His sovereignty… their stories become His stories… HIStories.

Our HIStories and Bible HIStories are woven together as integral pieces of God’s eternal love story. The focal point of God’s love story is Christ.

Other ministries and local church groups have used the term HIStories as a way of highlighting similar types of God stories are. We are adopting that established term. However, the Spanish version of this term, DIOStorias, is a word I made up to highlight the same point. When you bring those two words together, they form a cross, our focal point.

I grew up in church, learning the stories of Noah and the flood, Abraham’s faith, Daniel in the lions’ den, baby Jesus in the manger, and many others. However, I did not understand that those stories were characters in God’s greater, larger story of the Bible. It is one big love story. God invites us to be characters in HIStory, recipients of His love. In college, professors began to help me connect the dots and focus on the eternal story that God is writing in each of our hearts.

Every story of the Old Testament was a foreshadowing and affirmation of Jesus’ perfect sacrifice, when the Lamb of God became flesh and dwelled among us. God’s relationship with the Israelites, His chosen people, illustrates the character of God and reminds us that we always have the choice to turn to Him and obey His commands, which are designed for our good.

Our God, Yahweh, the Great I AM is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the author, creator, and architect of the greatest story ever told.

We are one part of God’s eternal story. He could’ve used anyone, yet our Heavenly Father chose each of the imperfect candidates in Scripture that He might receive the glory. Will you allow God to use you as an imperfect candidate to tell your story that God might receive the glory? Like Esther, who knows but that you have been called for such a time as this…

Please contact us if you are interested in sharing a HIStory from the Bible or a HIStory from your own life. Thanks for accepting the invitation to connect to God and one another more deeply through these God stories, and for sharing your own with others! It is our opportunity to give God the glory and invite others into their own HIStory with Him.

Written by Michelle J. Goff, founder and director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries

What makes a story worth telling?
What makes a story memorable? Special? Significant? Relevant?
What makes a story bad?

One of my family members is known for his storytelling… his poor storytelling, I should say. At a birthday party, the group was sharing unusual stories. He joined in, declaring, “Yeah! I heard a story about a guy who was in the ocean and got bitten by a shark!”

His prolonged silence prompted puzzled expressions and finally someone asked, “Was he alone?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.
“Did he survive?” asked another.
“I don’t know,” he continued, undaunted by the increasing level of concern in the voices among the rest of the group.
“What more can you tell us about the story? How did it end?”
“I don’t know,” the inept storyteller repeated once more. “I just remember that a guy was in the ocean and got bitten by a shark.”

“That is a horrible story!” declared one of the women present. “You are fired from storytelling because you can’t just leave us hanging with only that one tragic part of the story without telling us how it ends or what else happened!”

That family member has many talents. He is a highly intelligent, respected person in many areas of his life, but storytelling is not one of those areas.

Is storytelling a talent? Or is it a skill we can develop? I propose it is a little of both.

There are orators whose voices emulate the inflection of every emotion carried throughout the story being narrated. Their description of the events and the tidbits shared about each character invite you into a reliving of the story, rather than a mere retelling.

Jesus was an excellent storyteller. He fostered connection, invited involvement, challenged with His words, and inspired with His eloquence.

His illustrations were layered in such a way that the simplest application was as practical as the deepest purpose was relatable. Jesus painted pictures in the readers minds, drawing lessons that could be easily recollected and universally applied.

The best stories are the ones with God as the main character, whether in a protagonist role or hidden behind the scenes. God stories may sound like a simple narration of the events of someone’s day, but what makes it a true God story is that it is an account in which He gets all the glory. The kingdom-level relevance of the retelling is highlighted through God’s role—one of greater importance than the minor, secondary characters.

God is the Author and we, along with others in the Kingdom, are all part of the greater story—in the same way that the heroes of the faith in Hebrews 11 often did not see the fruition of their involvement.

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. (Heb. 11:39-40)

What makes a good story?
1. God gets the attention or the glory (John 12:49; 2 Cor. 4:5,7).
2. It points others to Christ and the gospel message (1 Cor. 2:2; 15:1-4).
3. It is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8).
4. A conflict, challenge, or dilemma is resolved by God’s hand at work, a biblical insight, or spiritual growth (Gal. 2:20).

When Jesus told stories, He only spoke what the Father told Him to say. In human form, Jesus was a mouthpiece, a vessel of the Spirit’s voice in Him. He was truly One with the Spirit, yet we are invited into that same oneness—a unity that is emphasized when we testify to the working of the Spirit in our lives.

The Messiah’s stories were not His own. He used His life and His stories to point back to the Father and present a Kingdom invitation and application.

Our stories are not our own. God wants to use our lives and our stories to point back to the Father and present a Kingdom invitation and application.

Therefore, Iron Rose Sister Ministries, in the year 2022, will be sharing stories—stories from the Bible and stories from our own lives. We will invite others into their own God story. We will be equipped to recognize our story as a part of God’s bigger story, “Our Story in God.”

Thank you for all of the stories you have been a part of in 2021. We cannot wait to share in the God stories that God will bring about in 2022!