Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Brendais the Communications Assistant of Iron Rose Sister Ministries.

Tell us a little about you and your family.

Hello, thank you for the opportunity to share in this blog.

I am originally from Guatemala, a country located in Central America. I was born and raised in Guatemala and lived there until I moved to the United States, 3 days before my wedding, to join to the love of my life a little more than 5 years ago. Tony is an African American born in the United States. We have a 3-year-old daughter who has in her blood, both the Latin and African American cultures.

What have been the blessings of uniting two cultures in one family?

To be able to see the world from different perspectives. To learn to speak two languages (especially in the case of my husband, and now that of our daughter). Being exposed to other cultures first hand, and not through movies, news or documentaries. To try different foods, being exposed to different experiences, expanding the variety of recipes that can be prepared! But most importantly, to learn to know how God's plans are perfect even when we look different, we speak differently and handle situations differently due to the context in which we were raised.

What has been the hardest part about getting married to someone from another language or culture?
We recognize that this does not mean you're talking bad about your new family!

Uuuuy! If I told you the stories! Hahaha. Basically, I would say it is the communication. Although both my husband and I communicate in English, I grew up in a very different environment and culture, and the way to communicate there is more direct, without so much detour and always trying to resolve issues immediately, because the idea is to always be in community.
My husband, on the other hand, speaks more diplomatically (Not to mention that he talks around the bushes!) And his way of seeing life is a little more independent.
And let's add, he is a man and I am a woman. We definitely think in different channels! There are things that Spanish has a vast variety of ways to express, but the English translation is very limited. That makes us more creative when communicating.

What can you tell us about living in a country that is not your country of origin?

It is quite an experience. Starting with the weather!
Although I have studied English almost all my life and practiced it a lot in my last place of work in Guatemala, I will always have my Guatemalan accent. And people notice it! English is not my language, and, consequently, I will have grammatical errors from time to time, and often orthographic "horrors" too.
Then, the color of my skin gives me away. That immediately alerts others about my foreign nationality and, therefore, the way they address me is different.
Next, I can mention the customs, especially in terms of how relationships are carried out. I grew up in a culture where family, friends and having fellowship with people is the bread of every day. No matter how busy or tired we are, there is always a good excuse to get together, even if someone shows up at your house without warning! And we always share a meal, even if it's our turn to "pour more water into the broth." Emotions are not hidden. We can express our emotions as we feel them, and we know how to share very intimately with those around us.
Here, I see that everything is planned, it has to be programmed and it looks very bad to "visit without notice." People do not give themselves permission to express emotions in public. In this sense, I can say that I miss my friends, my congregation and the way to develop friendships.

I know you have experience working with people from many nations, for example, when you worked with Compassion. What else impacted you or caught your attention when working with people from another culture?

I must say that Compassion gave me the opportunity, first, to know other cultures even within my country. I managed to visit very remote communities where Spanish was not the first language of the inhabitants. I learned a lot from their customs, and from the challenges and difficulties they had. At the same time, I was able to share with people from different countries in Latin America and the Caribbean. What a great experience! We always had sessions where we compared the words we use in each country to refer to the same thing.
Also, I was able to share with people from North America and Europe. With all these experiences, I could be exposed to different languages and different points of view on the same situations. But in the end, even with everything and our differences, we worked for the same goal and for the same mission, and that made us see beyond cultural differences to find solutions that would bless those who would be the recipients of the results of our efforts. In the case of Compassion, the children. I remember a phrase that is very popular for resolving conflicts, and which I try to apply in my daily life: The more we speak to one another, the better we understand each other.

Is there a Bible verse that has impacted you in intercultural relationships?

Acts 17:26-28 New International Version (NIV)
26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

How can we as Iron Rose Sisters serve to improve intercultural relations?

Remembering that it is not ourselves that we serve, but that we are on a mission, which is to bring the good news of Christ to all nations. Then, we should not look at skin or hair color, language or customs. We must continue working every day to be more like Christ and to reflect His love, because that is how they will know Him, through our fruit. Loving God with all our strength, mind and soul, so we could be able to love our neighbor, in such a way that we become one body in Christ Jesus.

Is there anything else that the church in general can do to improve intercultural relations?

First, remember that we have all been created in the image of God, therefore, we all deserve to be treated with the same level of dignity, respect and love. Second, be willing to meet others, not just as a curiosity or as a chore, but genuinely take time to get to know that person. Also, be willing to be vulnerable, to speak of yourself so that they can know that you are a human being in work to be transformed in the image of Christ. I understand that not all of us become best friends, but if we strive to love each other and help each other to improve, we will be witnesses of Jesus as indicated by John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Thanks for sharing your story with us!

For the month of March, we are Listening to I AM and Listening to Others. Allow me to share with you one friend’s perspective on what it means to listen...

Tell us a little about yourself.
My name is Kathy Creel. I am originally from the Nashville, Tennessee, area. I am a classic middle child between two brothers and am a 44-year-old Marriage and Family Therapy student at Harding University. I have one son by birth (also currently a Harding student) and two by choice (one is still at home); my husband Tim and I are approaching our sixth anniversary.
In addition to mothering young men, I have two super-sweet rescue dogs that I love dearly. And I am amazed at how I see God’s unconditional love and joy in these little creatures on a regular basis.
Oh! And I also happen to serve on the Board of Directors for this really cool ministry: Iron Rose Sister Ministries. I would love to talk with you more or, as we are highlighting this month: “listen to you,” about how you can partner with us in all God is calling us to, equipping women to connect to God and one another more deeply.

What does it mean to listen?
Listening means to actively engage all your senses, not just your hearing. It requires intentional attention. There is an all-consuming level of engagement that is required when you are truly listening.

Is there anything different between Listening to I AM and Listening to Others?
For me, Listening to I AM requires stillness, absence of distraction.
In human relations, we can somewhat listen to each other in the midst of distractions.
Listening to God requires the attentiveness of stillness and silence. It is a much more reverent approach to listening.

Is there a Bible verse or Bible story that has informed your perspective on listening?
There are actually two verses:
Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be silent.”

As a believer, but also a modern woman, there is a great deal of pressure to be active during every waking moment. It has required a great deal of discipline for me to create the space where I can effectively listen.

For me, the being still in God’s presence was a key concept—being still so that I could listen. Otherwise, my mind is a vortex of activity.

What has been the most powerful or impactful piece of advice about listening to others that you have heard?
The most impactful experience I had was being mentored by my human hero, Dusty Doddridge. Dusty is my former supervisor in Career Services. And, by watching him interact with students, and through his direct coaching of me, I learned how to listen for things that weren’t being said. Dusty really taught be the value of being fully present in the moment. The value of being a safe person was very impactful.
Dusty is also a professional wilderness photographer and is a big believer in removing yourself to nature to be in the presence of God and His majestic creation. I did not understand the power of that until I got to know Dusty.

What a blessing! How has that played out for you in family, church or Christian sister contexts?
I definitely speak less and try to identify messages that aren’t being said. I also understand that each person has his or her own reality and is a unique creation. Being present is important. And I think that in my own personal relationships, seeking to understand and trust the best of intentions in everyone is essential.

What have you learned from Listening to I AM?
I don’t have to have the answers. It is not my job. It is my job to be obedient.

What have you learned from Listening to Others?
Sometimes God speaks through people that you wouldn’t expect. But when God knows that we need to hear something, He will put the right person in our lives to help us hear exactly what we need to hear.
I loved my job in Career Services—helping students at a local university choose a career, find a job, and succeed in life.
Our former director called me to his office one day and was just asking what was going on. I shared about my husband’s job search. He responded, “You are going to go, aren’t you? It has been on my heart to tell you that you need to go with your husband. You guys need to be together.”
This is someone that I did not have a close personal relationship with, but because he was a director, he knew a lot... We hadn’t had those direct conversations, so the way he phrased it really got my attention.
And it was that day that I decided that I would obey, wherever God was calling us. I would obey. It didn’t mean I wouldn’t grieve the job I loved that I would be leaving, but I knew that God would honor obedience.
And that one conversation really solidified my resolve.
God spoke through that person at that moment to affirm the truth of what I needed to hear.

God is so gracious, isn’t He?!
Thanks for sharing part of your story and for encouraging all of us to Listen to I AM and to Others.

#ListentoIAM #ListentoOthers #IronRoseSister

MICHELLE: Katie, thanks for taking the time to answer some questions about prayer. I know you are a prayer warrior, but I also know that prayer has not always looked the same in your life. Can you describe how it has been redefined for you over time?

KATIE: Where do I start? I have so many things that I want to share about prayer! I have so many notes and thoughts and examples, literally a lifetime of being redefined. I want to share a message of hope and encouragement. But I feel like if I don’t watch out you are going to get my life story through prayer.

My life - literally before I was born - was a prayer.

Me, my marriage, my family, my friendships, my works, Iron Rose Sister Ministries (IRSM) in particular…

The ministry would not be here if it were not for prayer. Prayer can be the alpha and omega of our lives, our days, our decisions and our relationships.

What a beautiful way to connect us with others and with our Father—the mission of IRSM—through prayer!

My prayers have redefined me in many, many ways.

Prayer has changed from a laundry list of requests to an open conversation.

Prayer can look different to many people but as a child of the 90’s in a small-town USA in a church of Christ it looked and sounded just about the same to me. It could be predicted almost as easily as the three songs and a prayer. I know now that there were prayer warriors in the room, one of which, who I never heard pray out loud while I was a child, may easily have been my own mother. She may not have formally prayed with me, but her willingness to listen and teach me to share played a part in my own prayer life.

As a child my nightly prayer was, “As I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep and if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless Mommy, Daddy, Sissy, Gigi, Grandma, Grandpa etc. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

My prayers as a child
My prayers in college
My prayers as a young mother
My prayers as a missionary
My prayers as a mother of young children - lots of anger
My prayers as a wife
My prayers as IRSM Board President

For a long time, I found my identity in being a missionary and therefore when that was missing I was scared and angry. I knew my identity was found in Christ, not in anything else… but I didn’t believe it or put it into practice until I was refined through prayer.

Prayer was where I found that identity, when my prayers were authentic and real—that lead to prayers with others that were the same way.

MICHELLE: Is there a facet of prayer that you feel has been especially transformative or redefining?

KATIE: One of the biggest examples for me which also has refined other most important relationships in my life is forgiveness. Unforgiveness in my life created a fear that was manifested as a warning sign of anger. My marriage and family were suffering and I found relief through forgiveness that comes through prayer. Not just prayer and not just forgiveness from God but open conversational, untraditional prayers with prayer warriors of different ages and strengths.

Right now, I am going to focus on the prayer of forgiveness and how it has removed the sin of anger in my life. It was a process of refinement that used the fire of forgiveness to remove the impurities of anger and unforgiveness that redefined the way I pray.

I cannot underestimate what prayer has done in my life. Like so many things in our relationship with God, it’s simple but not easy.

The simplest and most important message for this blog is that through prayer, real conversation with Eloah selikhot, God of forgiveness (Neh. 9:17), we can find forgiveness and transformation. Nehemiah chapter 9 is actually a beautiful example of prayer. My prayers have become conversations and meetings, and laughter, and tears.

MICHELLE: What a beautiful thought, to talk with the God of forgiveness! Is there anything else you have learned from Him?

KATIE: I am close to God when I recognize His presence and I believe “Pray without ceasing” is the fact that God is always with us and we need to recognize that.

I can look at passages of Jesus’ interactions and hear prayers of longing, cries for help and fulfilled promises. He shows so many examples of prayer—even His conversations with the disciples and restoration of sinners are prayers. When He lists the Beatitudes, He is saying these people are the blessed and blessing the faithful at the same time.

MICHELLE: What other blessings have you seen through prayer?

KATIE: Encouraging others to pray has been a great blessing for me. How? By praying in the moment. In a time of COVID one of the weirdest things has been the hesitation to hold hands during a prayer. Connecting to others physically during a prayer.

I would say that praying with you, Michelle, over the last 7 years has been 90% over the phone. But we have had a those very special moments, usually around your kitchen table where we were able to hold hands, many times with others, and pray it up!

We have prayed for peace, strength, births, deaths, thanksgivings, and forgiveness.

Many times, the prayer leads to action.

Being redefined changes the definition. God can literally change the definition of something that I am going through or change me.

Like the transformation of the cross… or the transformation of a butterfly… or the transformation through prayer.

MICHELLE: It sounds like God has redefined prayer itself for you. Would you agree?

KATIE: I have never been a very traditional prayer. My husband has questioned my banter with God. But those who know me well know that I can get lost in a conversation with my Father just as I can get lost in a conversation with others.

Writing this blog has produced pages of notes and reflections and conversations with a couple of my greatest prayer partners. They both agreed that my prayers are like conversation and jokingly that I can get lost in a prayer as I get lost in a conversation. They know that I think a missed opportunity for prayer is like the greatest conversation I never had. They have witnessed the interweaving of how our open and honest relationships combined with open and honest prayers have led to great things.

Iron Rose Sister Ministries is a beautiful example of the power of prayer in my life and in the refining of myself and Michelle especially. I will wait to talk more about that in a future blog.

As far as the takeaways from this moment… Pray. Lay your heart before God and especially when it comes to forgiveness for yourself or others don’t wait. I pray it will be a great conversation!

One final thought: Don’t let prayer be the greatest conversation you never had.