Iron Rose Sister Ministries

Written by Kat Bittner, volunteer and Board Member with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Colorado

Waiting is hard. It can be one of the most unwelcomed and unpleasant aspects of life through which we have to muddle. And if you’re like me, prone to being impatient and annoyed, waiting can also be the most grueling test of our faith. Fortunately, it can also be the most rewarding faith builder because waiting perfects us and makes us complete (James 1:3-4).

When I look back on the times I was waiting on God in my own life, I see how very antsy I was. For instance, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I couldn’t wait to get married. I couldn’t wait to have children. I couldn’t wait to travel and see the world. Many times, I tried to intermediate God’s timing for my life and do things on my own. I entered relationships that were unholy. I forged friendships that damaged my spiritual state of mind. I went places and did things that weren’t indicative of a child of God. All this was done to expedite when and how I wanted the course of my life to unfold. I was much like Sarah taking matters into her own hand when she couldn’t bear a child (Gen. 15). And much like Sarah, my interference with God’s timing for my life didn’t exactly pan out for the best. I spent many years making choices in my life which were intended to hinder the wait. And they all led to heartbreak, negative consequences and a lot of sin.

I’ve come to understand through all of this that waiting on God requires a great amount of trust. We must trust that God is actively working in and through our lives to mold us into what He has designed. “And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand” (Is. 64:8, NLT). We must trust that God’s judgement is never clouded by selfish motives. We must trust that God’s perspective isn’t narrowed by human desires. And we must trust that God’s timing is consummate because He is the creator of time. (Heb. 11:3). God works in us in His time because it is His plan, not ours. And we need to submit to God’s authority over all aspects of our life because of His supremacy.

“Surely you have things all turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; for shall the thing made say of him who made it, ‘He did not make me.’? Or shall the thing formed say of him who formed it, ‘He has no understanding’?” (Is. 29:16, NKJV)

The times I chose to make things happen in my life in my own time and by my own hand have always resulted in futility. But when I choose to surrender to God’s plan and trust in God’s timing, I’ve reaped only the best for my life. God’s timing gave me the man He specifically designed to be my husband and through that timing I have been blessed to share life with him for the past 32 years. God’s timing gave me four particularly created individuals to mother. With that timing I have experienced a most profound love and derived the subsequent joys of being Grammy! Finally, God’s timing brought our family to Colorado. And with that timing I have been blessed to work at a wonderful ministry helping families thrive in Christ. And I have been blessed to be a part of a church family that has given me strong and enduring friendships. Again, all of this was a result of God’s timing in my life. And my waiting on God.

God’s timing is an incredible thing. It is of great quality. It is significant. It is honest. It is timely and opportune. It is indeed perfect! We need only be patient to reap the blessings from waiting on God because God also waits on us. He waits on us to hear our praise, our confession, our thanksgiving and to be honored. When we wait on God and He on us, and when we enter a mutual relationship with Him, God treats us like we are the only one. “…. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it” (Rev. 2:17, NLT). This is the special attentiveness that God gives to us. So, we need to trust in our waiting on God.

#IronRoseSister #HIStories #waiting #Godstiming #guestwriter #blog

Written by Michelle J. Goff, Founder and Director of Iron Rose Sister Ministries 

My youngest sister used to decorate beautiful ceramic mugs for me, but she had to stop this practice because I broke every single one. The last one, she rescued before I could break it. I never broke them intentionally. I used them all the time until my clumsiness or a very hard floor caused them to break.

Thankfully, my relationship with my sister was not dependent on the lifespan of those ceramic mugs. After we have gone through a time of brokenness, our commitment to the relationship, the covenant we have made, has actually been strengthened through the brokenness. (See thevideo on Redefined Identity that we narrated together and that illustrates brokenness.)

Still, we cry when things break. Broken relationships are more painful and evoke many more tears than broken dishes.

When my ex called off the wedding and permanently ended our relationship two and a half months before we planned to walk down the aisle, I was devastated. Not only was the relationship broken, I was broken—shattered in a million pieces and disoriented beyond a simple state of confusion. Brokenness was my constant companion for more than three years.

When a relationship covenant is broken, there are a few things that inevitably happen.

1. We lose trust in people.
2. We lose trust in ourselves.
3. We doubt our trust in God.

Single-again women, especially the divorced or separated, I’m sorry for what you are going through and please know that no matter the stage of your healing process, you are not alone! Also, please hear that you are not going crazy! Broken covenants are messy! And they are not what God has designed.

If your spouse broke covenant with you, I grieve with you. Our God can redeem anything and bring about good, even in the midst of the bad (Rom. 8:28).

If you are the one who broke covenant, please know that God’s redemption and forgiveness are possible (Ps. 103:10-13; Eph. 1:7-8).

If the breaking of covenant was necessary for your safety or that of your children, I applaud your bravery and pray that there are others nearby who are able to walk with you and support you in tangible ways (Ps. 103:6; Is. 61:1-3, 7).

Relationships are at the core of who we are and what define us. We learn and teach through relationships—and not all the lessons are positive. Sometimes we are learning what not to do or attempting to teach something we are unfamiliar with because of our past.

Sisters, one thing that I learned is that no matter how much my trust wavers, God’s love for me does not.

Three key lessons I learned through my season of the broken covenant of relationship:

1. God is eternally faithful and unconditional in His covenant (Lam. 3:22-26; Heb. 13:20-21).
2. God allows people to have free will and I must accept that (Gen. 2:16-17; Rom. 7:15-24).
3. Redemption and healing are possible, but they do take time (1 Pet. 2:24; James 5:16).

As I mentioned, a broken promise in relationship is deeply painful and causes us to doubt whether we can trust the other person in the future. My deeper doubts were whether or not I could trust myself to know whether I was a good judge of character, since I chose to be with someone who later broke his promises.

On many levels, I still respected and loved my ex—to the point that when he made his decision clear, I didn’t fight him on it, nor try to convince him otherwise. In his free will, he had chosen to end the relationship. Thankfully for us, it was before we entered into the covenant of marriage. Yet the brokenness I felt was as if he had broken that level of relationship covenant.

In time, I forgave him, but it was not something I could forget. God accompanied me in my grief. He did so through supportive friends, their prayers, then later my own. God was patient with me while I had to sit in the balcony on the furthest row from the pulpit because my pain level was proportionate to my physical proximity during a Sunday morning service.

God loved me through my obedient worship, going through the motions and not yet “feeling it.” God spoke to me through Bible verses that would appear in my social feeds, in conversations, in Bible study, or in prayer.

Over time, God affirmed a quote a friend had shared early on: “Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Time reveals how God can heal all wounds.” Amen!

Part of my healing has been a deeper level of empathy for others who have faced similar pain. The comfort I have received, I have shared with others (2 Cor. 1:3-6).

It is my prayer that God reveal His eternal faithfulness to such a degree that it overshadows any broken covenant of relationship.

Do you believe? Lord, help us overcome our unbelief.