Written by Amanda Santos, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in João Pessoa
When I was a child, my mother always said, “God gave us two ears and one mouth because we should listen more and speak less.” Although most of the time she was just reprimanding me for being a child who talked too much during classes and services, she was paraphrasing James 1:19: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (NIV).
Today's theme says that “listening is an altruistic act.” If we search for the meaning of altruistic we find that it refers to someone who cares about others and acts voluntarily to benefit them. The Bible contains several verses that talk about altruism such as Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." And John 13:34b says: "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." The act of listening is the same as loving.
We live at such a busy pace that we even set audio messages we receive on communication platforms at advanced speed to hear and solve things faster. How many times do we watch a video of a class, even a sermon, and put it on “2x” because the faster we listen, the better? It seems like stopping and listening carefully to what someone else has to say will cost us so much. I put myself in this position. I've always liked to do things quickly, think quickly, and resolve things quickly. How many times have I chosen a cooking video to watch, and before the cook got halfway through the recipe, I decided that I had already heard everything I needed and could make the rest myself. Almost every time, I failed and had to go back and watch the video again to find out where I went wrong.
I remember a teacher who asked me a question in class: “Did you hear what I said, Amanda?” and I promptly answered yes. Then she asked again: “Okay, but did you listen to what I said?” Maybe at first you will have the same reaction as I did, “But aren’t those the same thing: hear and listen?” And the answer is no. Hearing is the capture of sounds by the ear, a mechanical and natural process that does not require interpretation. But listening is the action of paying attention, understanding and interpreting what is heard, and making use of it. How many times have I heard people but didn't listen to them?
It takes effort, attention, and dedication to fulfill the role of listener.
Effort is required because we need to break this bad habit of speeding things up. If you've gotten used to hearing everything very quickly, you'll find it strange and even uncomfortable having to listen to someone who speaks slowly. So yes, we need to put in effort to be good listeners.
Attention is necessary because our mind easily takes us away from the conversation. We remember that we didn't take the clothes off the line, we forgot to defrost the meat, or so many tasks that if we are not centered and paying full attention, our mind will ramble and we won't actually be listening to our sister.
And of course, listening takes dedication. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” We need to dedicate ourselves day after day to being good listeners. Remember, listening to your brother or sister in Christ is an act of love. It is an act of service to the Kingdom of God.
When we are willing to listen to what a sister has to say, we are giving her a safe and trustworthy space where she can share her problems, confess her sins, and share her prayer requests with God. Being open to being that person who listens with an open heart and loves her sister is serving the Lord. If a sister comes to you to talk, she believes she will be in a safe place, without judgment, and with lots of love.
May we be attentive and available to be God's instruments in the lives of our brothers and sisters, and may our ears be open to listen to what they need to tell us. May our hearts be ready to love and exhort when necessary. And may only the Word of God come out of our lips.