Written by Jocelynn Goff, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Searcy, AR
Are there any difficult people in your life? Surely not ;-). Ahem! We must admit there are relationships that can be quite sticky. I believe we all do have people in our lives for a short or long term that can prove difficult. Maybe a boss, coworker, neighbor, sibling, parent, child, brother or sister at church. So, how do we navigate these difficult relationships? How do we reflect His nature? How can we be salt and light to the world around us? Bottom line, how do we get along with each other?
Of course, we want to look to Jesus for our example and how He interacted with those around Him. As we search the scriptures, we see in Genesis 1:27 “God created man in His own image...” This calls us to respect each other as equal in God’s eyes as His creation. This doesn’t mean that we need to be BFF with everyone but a certain amount of respect is in order.
In John 13:35 Jesus speaks of a new command to love one another and says, “by this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” This feels like a pretty tall order. Yet, we all know the Golden Rule, “so in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you...” Matthew 7:12. We inherently know how we’d like to be treated so this guides us as we think how to treat others.
Paul gives us guiding principles in Romans 12:9-21. One verse in particular, “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This says to me that there may be times that it may not be possible. Therefore, I need to remember Matthew 10:16b that as Jesus sent out the 12, He urged them to be as “wise [shrewd] as serpents, and harmless [innocent] as doves.” I have found some practical tips to help me navigate relationships with those that may fit into this category.
1. Listen and look for common ground, areas of agreement, and stick to these in conversation whether at work or personal interactions.
2. Love them where they’re at, without taking on the task of fixing them.
3. Plant a seed of truth in the conversation.
4. Be “politely assertive” in getting a task completed whether this is a repairman, coworker, child, or anyone where you have to help them to do their job without doing it for them.
5. Set a time limit for the interaction determined by the necessity of the situation. This could be as short as five minutes, for example.
6. Include another person in the conversation to buffer, neutralize the intensity of the conflict, or be a witness if things get sticky.
7. Remember that this person and this relationship do not define you.
8. Do a self-assessment and realize that you could actually be the difficult one in the relationship. If this is true, then humbly repent, apologize, and commit to a new mode of operation. Set the example of owning your own responsibility where appropriate.
9. Cover all of your relationships with prayer asking for the Holy Spirit to accompany you and prompt you if you need to hold your tongue or exit the situation.
May God bless us all as we seek to be wise, innocent, loving, respectful, kind, and truthful in our relationships.