Icky, sticky, mucky. Those were the three adjectives I used to describe a hot, humid summer day. And a friend who overheard my description decided that those words could also be used to describe a challenging relationship she was navigating. Just as the heaviness of the humid air required extra effort to walk even a short distance, my friend was weighted down by every step she tried to take to move forward in the relationship.
What do we do when we are faced with a sticky and challenging friendship? What if another person has become the “thorn in our flesh”?
Multiple examples throughout Scripture illustrate that there is no one right answer for every situation. God asked Hosea to return to Gomer after her continued unfaithfulness. Yet Paul and Barnabas agreed that it was best to go their separate ways in order that neither’s mission to preach the gospel was thwarted (Acts 15:36-41).
Jesus had His share of sticky relationships, but what He always kept at the forefront of His mind was His Father’s will. Jesus knew how to handle each person He came into contact with because He was in constant communication with His Father.
Not sure what to say or how to defend yourself? The Holy Spirit will give you the words (Luke 12:11-12).
Not sure whether to speak up or keep silent? If it is in defense of someone who can’t speak for themselves, say something! (Prov. 31:8-9; James 1:27) If it is in attack of someone else, keep quiet (Prov. 16:27).
Unsure how to avoid being angry at someone? Be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).
Wishing you could tell others about how “sticky” someone else is? Hold your tongue. It’s gossip and destructive (Prov. 16:28).
Notice how much of the biblical advice about challenging relationships have to do with the tongue. James 3 reminds us that it is a powerful muscle and a powerful force. Blessing and cursing both come from it, which is unhealthy for the speaker and the hearer. James follows his warnings about the tongue with an admonition to seek godly wisdom.
Godly wisdom is the key to managing the tongue and handling sticky relationships. My prayer for each of us today is that God will fill us with His wisdom to know how to navigate both. Spend some extra time in prayer and in the Word, seeking godly wisdom for how to deal with the sticky people in our lives. And don’t forget to look in the mirror and make sure you aren’t being the sticky one!
P.S. Please do not mishear what I am saying in this post as permission for someone to be physically, emotionally, verbally, or even spiritually abusive to someone else. If you are in an abusive relationship, speak up, ask for help, and pray for a way to get out of the situation. You are loved. You are prayed for. And you are not alone. God loves you too much for you to continue to be hurt in that relationship. And God loves that other person more than you do, leave it to Him to be the Rescuer and Redeemer. Trust that He wants what is best and healthiest for both of you.