Written by Michelle J. Goff
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight…” (Ps. 19:14) “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks…” (Luke 6:45)
Scripture is filled with instructions about our speech, as well as the importance of listening to God first, and then to others (James 1:19).
James, the New Testament “Proverbs,” dedicates about a fourth of his 5-chapter book to the tongue. The book of Proverbs includes more than 130 warnings about the tongue, our words, and other similar admonitions about communication—the speaking and the listening. These two books are not the only ones with instructions about how our communication should be redefined by God and His wisdom.
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Prov. 21:23).
“For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body” (James 3:2).
Our words matter. They have an impact. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Wrong! Words can build up or tear down, bless or curse. Both Solomon and James contrast the blessings and the curses that can come from what we say to others. They also both highlight the importance of seeking wisdom in our speech, attitudes, and actions. God promises that if we ask for wisdom, He will provide it (James 1:5).
We all readily accept the conceptual need for wisdom in our communication, both the listening and the speaking. However, we listen with our own filters in place. We make assumptions. We speak with the urgency of ensuring that our message is well-received and understood. How can we redefine our communication so that it is in line with the Spirit?
Top Three New Testament Suggestions for Redefining our Communication:
• “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col. 4:6)
• “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29).
• “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
Common Threads:
How do you want to grow and bloom in your redefined communication—more in the listening or the speaking? Please be specific and don’t forget to share it with an Iron Rose Sister so that you can pray together.
Are there any barriers to communication that you know exist between you and another person? They may be thorns hindering the redefined communication.
One specific area in which you can dig deeper in redefined communication is to reflect on those with whom you communicate well. What’s different about that relationship compared with those with whom you don’t communicate well?
As you answer these questions, it can be easy to get defensive. I encourage you to bathe this topic in prayer. Redefine your communication with God by talking with Him openly about this area of growth and listening to His guidance.