Brenda is the Communications Assistant of Iron Rose Sister Ministries.
Tell us a little about you and your family.
Hello, thank you for the opportunity to share in this blog.
I am originally from Guatemala, a country located in Central America. I was born and raised in Guatemala and lived there until I moved to the United States, 3 days before my wedding, to join to the love of my life a little more than 5 years ago. Tony is an African American born in the United States. We have a 3-year-old daughter who has in her blood, both the Latin and African American cultures.
What have been the blessings of uniting two cultures in one family?
To be able to see the world from different perspectives. To learn to speak two languages (especially in the case of my husband, and now that of our daughter). Being exposed to other cultures first hand, and not through movies, news or documentaries. To try different foods, being exposed to different experiences, expanding the variety of recipes that can be prepared! But most importantly, to learn to know how God's plans are perfect even when we look different, we speak differently and handle situations differently due to the context in which we were raised.
What has been the hardest part about getting married to someone from another language or culture?
We recognize that this does not mean you're talking bad about your new family!
Uuuuy! If I told you the stories! Hahaha. Basically, I would say it is the communication. Although both my husband and I communicate in English, I grew up in a very different environment and culture, and the way to communicate there is more direct, without so much detour and always trying to resolve issues immediately, because the idea is to always be in community.
My husband, on the other hand, speaks more diplomatically (Not to mention that he talks around the bushes!) And his way of seeing life is a little more independent.
And let's add, he is a man and I am a woman. We definitely think in different channels! There are things that Spanish has a vast variety of ways to express, but the English translation is very limited. That makes us more creative when communicating.
What can you tell us about living in a country that is not your country of origin?
It is quite an experience. Starting with the weather!
Although I have studied English almost all my life and practiced it a lot in my last place of work in Guatemala, I will always have my Guatemalan accent. And people notice it! English is not my language, and, consequently, I will have grammatical errors from time to time, and often orthographic "horrors" too.
Then, the color of my skin gives me away. That immediately alerts others about my foreign nationality and, therefore, the way they address me is different.
Next, I can mention the customs, especially in terms of how relationships are carried out. I grew up in a culture where family, friends and having fellowship with people is the bread of every day. No matter how busy or tired we are, there is always a good excuse to get together, even if someone shows up at your house without warning! And we always share a meal, even if it's our turn to "pour more water into the broth." Emotions are not hidden. We can express our emotions as we feel them, and we know how to share very intimately with those around us.
Here, I see that everything is planned, it has to be programmed and it looks very bad to "visit without notice." People do not give themselves permission to express emotions in public. In this sense, I can say that I miss my friends, my congregation and the way to develop friendships.
I know you have experience working with people from many nations, for example, when you worked with Compassion. What else impacted you or caught your attention when working with people from another culture?
I must say that Compassion gave me the opportunity, first, to know other cultures even within my country. I managed to visit very remote communities where Spanish was not the first language of the inhabitants. I learned a lot from their customs, and from the challenges and difficulties they had. At the same time, I was able to share with people from different countries in Latin America and the Caribbean. What a great experience! We always had sessions where we compared the words we use in each country to refer to the same thing.
Also, I was able to share with people from North America and Europe. With all these experiences, I could be exposed to different languages and different points of view on the same situations. But in the end, even with everything and our differences, we worked for the same goal and for the same mission, and that made us see beyond cultural differences to find solutions that would bless those who would be the recipients of the results of our efforts. In the case of Compassion, the children. I remember a phrase that is very popular for resolving conflicts, and which I try to apply in my daily life: The more we speak to one another, the better we understand each other.
Is there a Bible verse that has impacted you in intercultural relationships?
Acts 17:26-28 New International Version (NIV)
26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’
How can we as Iron Rose Sisters serve to improve intercultural relations?
Remembering that it is not ourselves that we serve, but that we are on a mission, which is to bring the good news of Christ to all nations. Then, we should not look at skin or hair color, language or customs. We must continue working every day to be more like Christ and to reflect His love, because that is how they will know Him, through our fruit. Loving God with all our strength, mind and soul, so we could be able to love our neighbor, in such a way that we become one body in Christ Jesus.
Is there anything else that the church in general can do to improve intercultural relations?
First, remember that we have all been created in the image of God, therefore, we all deserve to be treated with the same level of dignity, respect and love. Second, be willing to meet others, not just as a curiosity or as a chore, but genuinely take time to get to know that person. Also, be willing to be vulnerable, to speak of yourself so that they can know that you are a human being in work to be transformed in the image of Christ. I understand that not all of us become best friends, but if we strive to love each other and help each other to improve, we will be witnesses of Jesus as indicated by John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Thanks for sharing your story with us!