Being sick is a strange thing, especially if it’s a chronic condition. I recently realized a play on words that emphasizes part of the mental and emotional battle I face when I am physically weak or sick. When I am an invalid, I feel invalid. Be sure to get the emPHAsis on the right syllABLe ;) As an INvalid, I feel inVALid. Allow me to explain:
You feel like a watered-down version of yourself and then a doctor doubts your description of the pain, unable to get to the root of your condition. An inVALid INvalid?
Your energy and motivation are gone. You can’t even remember all of what you were supposed to do anyway. An inVALid INvalid?
You finally take the time to rest – recover from recent events and physically prepare for what’s to come. Satan puts messages of laziness, guilt and inadequacy in your mind. An inVALid INvalid?
You have discerned God’s calling and long to serve as He leads, but your physical strength and ability inhibit your capacity to fulfill that calling. Doubt creeps in. An inVALid INvalid?
Your physical pain accentuates and exaggerates all other negative thoughts and emotional pain. Healing on any level seems unattainable. An inVALid INvalid?
Usually the one to cheer others up and be a source of strength, you have nothing left to give. An inVALid INvalid?
As someone who used to take pride in her ability to multi-task, be there for others and “do it all,” you find yourself in a new place of dependence on others. An inVALid INvalid?
The things that shaped your identity before are undermined or inhibited by physical limitations. An inVALid INvalid?
Thoughts like these have pervaded my mind for the past few days and weeks. I have forced myself to recall that “greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world” (I John 4:4) and that my identity as a child of God really is enough. God is honored to call me His child and does not measure my worth on my ability to perform.
“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
II Corinthians 12:7b – 10
#rest #strength