Written by Deanna Brooks, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Arkansas
“I forgive you… and I love you!” What sweet words when sin has created a breach in a relationship!
Forgiveness comes from our Heavenly Father. Even before the world was created, He knew forgiveness and reconciliation would be part of the plan (Eph. 1:4; 2 Tim. 1:9).
In Exodus 34:6-7 we read one of the earliest descriptions of our God, “… merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin” (ESV). God’s desire to forgive is part of who He is—it’s part of His character. It is why He sent Jesus to earth and why Jesus was willing to die for our sins.
When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, part of the prayer he taught them was, “… forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us” (Luke 11:4). We ask God to forgive us—but that means we must also have a heart to forgive others.
In Colossians 3:13 Paul wrote, “… bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
When Jesus was teaching His disciples, Peter asked Him how often he should forgive someone, then suggested, “’Seven times?’ Jesus replied, ‘Seventy times seven’” (Matt. 18:21-22).
The Jews looked back to Amos 2:6 and concluded that they were only required to forgive three times. By asking Jesus if seven was enough, Peter had more than doubled the traditional limit, using a number that in those times symbolized completion or perfection rather than a literal limit to how many times we are to forgive.
Forgiveness from God is unlimited when a person is repentant.
Two things to remember:
When I forgive, the person may or may not accept it.
When I ask for forgiveness, the person may or may not give it.
Either way, I have done what God wants me to do.
When I forgive, it takes away my anger and resentment. It means I no longer focus on the sin or hurt, and I may choose to forgive, even if the person has not asked for forgiveness. We live in a world where there are unintentional slights and hurts, and sometimes the offender is totally unaware of how his actions are received.
When I am forgiven, it means the person no longer holds me accountable for those actions.
However, forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation. There may be consequences that can’t be repaired. Some things can never be fixed. The relationship may never go back to what it has been.
That is where our God is different. When He forgives, our sin is forgotten, and the relationship with us as His child, which He intended from the beginning, is restored.
Having a forgiving heart does not mean overlooking sin and brushing it aside. It may mean we confront the person, in love. Galatians 6:1 reads, “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
We have a responsibility to watch out for others and confront them as Nathan did David (2 Sam 12). We all need a friend who will come to us if they see us doing something that will separate us from God.
The ultimate goal of forgiveness is to be able to return to a holy relationship with our Heavenly Father.
When we pray for forgiveness from our Father, let’s never forget that this forgiveness cost Jesus pain, suffering, and death. That’s how much we are loved!