Written by Lisanka Martinez, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Venezuela
As a teenager, I heard a story in which a man cheated on his wife with a cousin of hers. Shocked, I discussed it at home and we remembered a family situation from when I was a child: my aunt's husband tried to make her younger sister fall in love with him, who, offended, told her sister, but she did not believe him and preferred to trust the word of her husband. This kept them as enemies for some time and all of us in the family were involved in one way or another. That memory allowed mom to free herself from another memory that she had preferred to hide from us while we were younger: In her family there had been the shameful case of a man who had children with 2 sisters. I couldn't understand it, it seemed so horrible to me. I described the man as a depraved monster and the women as stupid, submissive, fearful, and even scoundrels who accepted that situation for years. Mom tried to justify them due to their ignorance, coupled with fear and loneliness. I was left very confused and reluctant to accept this type of behavior in the middle of the 20th century.
Years later, being a Christian and preparing for some Bible classes, I had the opportunity to learn and analyze a little of Jacob's story. There I found out that he had been married and had children with 2 sisters. What an ugly story for a relevant character in the Bible! Oh! The poor man had been deceived, but why did he continue with her? And poor Rachel, how bad her father had been in making that change. She, as a daughter and a woman, could not disobey him and protest. Poor dear! I hardly even thought about that older sister who was also a main character in that drama. When I thought of Leah, I saw her as the accomplice of the father who had stolen his sister's happiness, perhaps out of selfishness, perhaps because of the tradition of that time that determined that the eldest should marry first. I saw her as a bad guy in that story. In my critical and romantic mind, I reasoned that she should have warned Jacob of the deception so that the marriage would not be consummated and help him plan on how to achieve happiness with his beloved Rachel.
Sometimes we, as humans, want explanations adapted to our understanding of the facts that God shows us in the Bible. We act with such arrogance that we dare to question divine purposes without remembering how fortunate we are that He loves and forgives us. There should be no doubt of that.
Sometime later, preparing a class on domestic violence, I had the opportunity to re-analyze this story. Now, I dedicated myself to thinking in more detail about each character and, of course, I got another perspective on Leah.
Etymologically her name means: tired, languid, melancholic, and hardworking. These four characteristics can define someone who is not happy or appreciated, and who does not have much support, perhaps someone who feels lonely even when surrounded by many people.
Leah was the oldest sister and the first thing that is said about her is that she had "delicate" eyes, for which some authors affirm that she had downcast, sad eyes; perhaps due to some disease. There is no certainty of this, but it is certain that Rachel was more beautiful and vivacious. What a disappointment for Jacob. And what about how Leah felt? Perhaps she was the most disappointed, but she couldn't protest. She could only obey her father.
The Bible tells us that Leah was despised and that she was comforted by God (v.31). Sibling rivalries are common. What is not common is that they stay strong as adults. Let's imagine Leah feeling underestimated and competing with a rival, not only more beautiful but also loved. There is a lot of loneliness in the person who does not receive enough love!
Despite these circumstances, Leah learned to rest and seek comfort in God. This is noticeable in the names that she was choosing for her children. Each name is a wish that her husband stop belittling her, but also that she is sure of having divine favor. We can see in them her personal and intimate relationship with God.
Just as Leah learned to cope with the rivalry with her sister, her husband's lack of love, and her initial loneliness by taking refuge in God and in loving her children, we too can learn to depend solely on divine love, knowing that we must take all our cares to God instead of complaining or being bitter. We can know with certainty that the best option is to rest and trust in God.
It doesn't matter if we are single, married, or single again, loneliness can sometimes creep up on us and bring us negative consequences in our walk with Christ. It can make us feel belittled, worthless, unloved. However, all these are tricks of the enemy.
What can we do when loneliness creeps into our lives? Or when we have unreciprocated love, or we are not valued in our workplace, or we are not taken into account for service in the congregation? Are we going to feel depressed or defeated? Or, on the contrary, will we understand that we are all valuable to God, that we are unique and there is no one exactly the same in the world, that God loves us, sees us, listens to us, and provides for us? Isn't all this a sign that we are not alone?
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