Written by Jennifer Percell, volunteer with Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Missouri
September of 2009 was warm and sunny in northern Missouri. We had returned to the Midwest in June after working with a congregation in Quebec City for four years. Autumn in Quebec was chilly and the sun set quite early as winter crept in. As much as I had loved the experience in Canada I was feeling so blessed to be back among friends in a culture and language I knew well. It was a time when everything felt good and right. That October, however, became a chapter in my story that was not so good and right.
As I settled into bed one night beside my husband, I quickly entered the deep sleep of contentment. Suddenly I sat straight up and felt that I could hear myself screaming. “He's here! He's here! Wake up Keith, He's really here!!” I grabbed my husband's arm and shook him, it felt so urgent to wake him. I then fell to my knees crying, praying, laughing, and feeling the most ecstatic joy I had ever imagined. All around me a brilliant Light was radiating a pulsing joy. I felt like my heart would burst out of my body but my eyes were so focused on the sky that my body seemed a trivial worry. I was still aware of shaking Keith's arm but everything else around me dissolved into the Light. I realized my human eyes could not bear this sight but the eyes that now stared at the Light were new eyes, eyes that absorbed this warm, pulsing atmosphere with a driving thirst, a thirst that was completely and wholly quenched. The calm and complete perfection I felt is still hard to describe with words.
The morning came as always, and the first thing I did was apologize to Keith for screaming and waking him up. I was totally surprised when he denied that I had done so. The realization that this incredible experience had only been a dream was a great disappointment. But as I sat on the bed remembering and thinking about my dream, I knew something was changed in me. I had a new understanding that affected me deeply. I had tasted a heavenly perspective.
I cannot say that God uses dreams today as He did in many Biblical accounts. I have no idea how dreams work, but one thing I can say is that this was a very good dream. I firmly believe all good things come from God so it is comforting to me to say that this dream was a gift from God. A gift I would need very soon.
A few short days later, on October 9th, Keith and I sat side by side on the exam table at my doctor's office. I remember insignificant things like how our legs dangled in unison and how we laughed awkwardly at some mundane conversation. I remember watching the sweet young doctor search for words to soften her news, “It is a carcinoma of the breast.”
Courage that God gives comes to us in many different ways. For me that day, I did not feel a blow of shock and dismay. I heard her words, squeezed Keith's hand and then said, “Okay, what's next?”
I believe the doctor was as surprised as I was by that reaction. No tears, no fear or anger or 'why me?', just a deep calm and mild curiosity. I was not afraid. I am not saying that it wasn't hard. I had surgery, radiation, and a painful few years of unwanted side effects. As cancer stories go though, mine was not terrible, I was very blessed. I have often looked back at that time and realized that I had a lot of uncharacteristic courage. I have never doubted the connection between that courage and the dream I remember so well.
The part of my HIStory that I would like to offer to you for encouragement is this; a heavenly perspective completely changes an earthly experience. I believe the great courage I felt was a direct result of being confronted with such a dramatic picture of the wonder of eternity.
Esther received courage from Mordecai's explanation of the situation her people were in and the role she could play in their deliverance. The Bible says she said, “If I perish, I perish” (Es. 4:16). I believe Esther understood the priceless fact that some things are far more important than our own earthly lives. She had a heavenly perspective of the situation.
Of course, my cancer story and Esther's heroic actions are far from the same situation. What is the same is that God gave us each great courage by teaching us that this life is only a season. Just like winter in Quebec that always gives way to spring, even when it seems that it never will, our troubles and sorrows here are temporary.
The godly timing of my beautiful dream gave me the courage I needed to endure cancer. Since that time, I have remembered through so many trials that I can endure anything for a time because indescribable joy comes in the end.
Do you need the reminder that whatever you may be suffering will only last for a season? Have courage my sisters, there's a Great Day coming.