Written by Kat Bittner, member of Iron Rose Sister Ministries Board of Directors in Colorado Springs, CO
“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine…” (1 Pet. 1:6-7, NLT)
Many years ago, I suffered the loss of a sweet friend. It was sudden and unexpected. For the first time in my adult life, I dealt with a grief never before experienced. And I was profoundly changed. Marked by anger, bitterness, and indifference, this overwhelming grief obscured my blessings. I had no desire to work. I had no desire to fellowship. I couldn’t even occupy myself with things I loved to do, like cooking. I had done a lot of that with Hope. All the bustling delightful things in me were gone and I had no more joy. Or so I thought.
“…For I will turn their mourning into joy and will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.” (Jer 31:13, NKJV)
Months later I attended a ladies’ Bible class which focused on how to restore our spirit following a time of rejection. The word “rejection” caught my attention. This is what I felt following Hope’s death. I felt rejected by God. He had given me this tender friendship which I had been longing for since moving to Colorado. He had given me someone with whom I could be genuine and transparent. And after 18 months, it had ended. God answered my prayer. And then my soul was crushed.
Yet, further study into God’s Word helped me understand that if I reconsidered my grief, I could redefine my joy. One thing paramount was to stop asking God, “Why?” and begin asking, “What do I do with this?” In trials, our energy needs to shift from being angry and indifferent to understanding how God works in us for His will and pleasure (Phil 1:13, NKJV). If that’s true, He couldn’t possibly be pleased with our wallowing and sour attitude.
With this recognition of God’s desire, I came to see the blessing in knowing Hope rather than fixating on my loss. I found blessing in seeing Hope in her daughter’s face. I found pleasure in attending her son’s wrestling meets and cheering him on as she did. I even began immersing myself in new recipes just because I thought Hope might like them. Slowly over time, my grief was tapered. My anger was assuaged. My bitterness was soothed. And my mourning turned into joy. I found joy in the memories of our wonderful albeit short time together. I rejoiced to have had a friend with shared passions. I found joy in watching her children grow. I even found joy in her husband’s capacity to love again and marry years later.
Joy had been redefined. It had gone from being something I thought was adrift to something that was immutable. I simply needed to see it amidst my pain. Joy needs to be unveiled. What a blessing to truly live out the words of James and “count it all joy” (James 1:2, NKJV) when in even the worst of circumstances. It makes all the difference to know that joy eclipses our affliction. And it can transform our faith.
How will you unveil joy and be redefined by it?