Written by Brenda Brizendine, Volunteer Coordinator for Iron Rose Sister Ministries in Colorado
As a child, I began to imagine what my married life would be like. A nice house, a loving husband, and many children! But I always thought: I WILL NEVER MARRY A FOREIGN MAN NOR LIVE OUTSIDE MY COUNTRY! Little did I know of the plans that God already had in store for me. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
In my plans, I would get married at 25, have children starting at 28 and be a young mother of 3 adorable children.
I turned 25, then 30 and no, I hadn’t gotten married. Without realizing it, I began to give much more importance to the idea of being married and, yes, it even became a bit of an obsession. My friends had boyfriends, were getting married and had beautiful children and families. And I kept thinking, who will God send me? (My relatives also were reminding me of what I was “missing,” because I was not getting younger).
One afternoon during a Bible study meeting, we read 1 Corinthians 7, which mentions that single women should be caring about the things of the Lord. There I understood that it was my time to put my attention on the Lord Jesus and not on any of the other "things" or "people" I had on my agenda. That was the moment when I could fully serve Him.
When I focused “my” sight, “my” time, and “my” agenda on the things of the Lord, was when I learned to know Him better, to delight in Him and in His word, and to be more like the person He designed me to be. It was then that the man of my dreams came into my life.
Much of what our story entails is unanticipated plans: He is a foreigner, speaks another language and lives in another country. What an irony, right? Sometimes I wonder if I had to wait a little longer for having said my “never” phrase, but I am sure that everything happens in God's time and way.
At first, when he started to get closer to me, I saw him as just another friend, I didn't anticipate in the slightest way that something could come up between him and me. The relationship progressed, to the point where he asked me to marry him. Everything went very well, thanks to the support of God's blessing. But my heart had not forgotten the part of my “fear” of going to live with a foreigner in another country.
One Sunday at church, a couple of months before the wedding date, a sister told me she had a message from God for me. *Note: I hadn't “ever” shared about my “never” with many people, so I had already “packed” it. But God, who knows the depths of my heart, my desires, and my fears, had not forgotten. And He wanted to work on that area of my life.
The message was the following: My daughter, I love you, I formed you and I know the desires of your heart, and also your fears. I know you don't want to leave your country, and you don't want to leave your family. (By that time, my dad was sick and receiving dialysis treatment, I have a sister with special needs, and I couldn't get used to the idea of being away from them, "in case they needed me") But today I tell you, - the message continued - the man you are going to marry, I have sent him to you, he is going to love you, he is going to take care of you and your family, and he is going to be with you because I prepared him for you. And for your family here, I'm going to take care of them. Just remember: be still and know that I am God.
Sisters, only God could send such a punctual message like that! By the way, you can confirm that promise of God in Psalm 46:10. With that message sisters, I had no doubt that this was God's time, and the man that God had prepared for me, including the fact that he was a foreigner!!!! That filled me with peace and confidence to continue with my unexpected plans.
We have now been married for 9 years, and in this time, we have experienced an endless list of unanticipated plans:
- During the process of migrating to this country, God provided people and resources to complete it.
- When we were preparing to grow the family, the doctors told us that we had no chance of achieving it.
- We focused on buying a house then, and without anticipating it, we got pregnant. My husband's reaction at that moment was: "and how are we going to eat?" Thinking that our budget would go to the payment of the house, and we were not prepared for medical payments. At the end of my pregnancy, my husband lost his job. We had a beautiful girl, but we were left homeless as the home we were building fell through. During this time, we had to live with the in-laws.
- We had been looking for a house to live for months, and our real estate agent called us to tell us that a client wanted to sell his house to someone who did not need to "fight" for the house, because at that time the real estate market was very crazy.
- My husband loses his job again. Even though we had planned that I would stay home to raise the baby, I had to look for a job. God sent me one that only needed me for a few hours per week.
- My husband finds a job in another city. God introduces me to Iron Rose Sister Ministries, and I start working for them.
- We have to move again to be closer to my husband's job. This new house is much better than what we were originally looking for, before the baby.
- COVID arrives. We lock ourselves in.
- We began to attend church at another congregation post COVID. They invite me to be part of the team that restarts the women’s ministry.
There are many more things that I can continue mentioning. There is a lot of unpredictability in the work area, in relationships, in the housing situation, regarding illnesses, but something that I can anticipate is the love and care of God.
When I look back at what has happened in these last 9 years, I have no doubt that God is faithful to His promise of being with us until the end of the age. It behooves us then to be still and recognize that He continues being God.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.”
(Psalm 107:1)
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