Written by Vivian Arcila, volunteer with Ministerio Hermana Rosa de Hierro in Canada
“So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.” (1 Sam. 1:20)
Before I became a Christian, I had two children. Six years after being baptized for the forgiveness of sins, I prayed to the Lord asking Him to give me a third child, if it was His will. In 2006, God responded to my prayers and I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. However, at that time, I was 38 and when I was three months pregnant, I had facial paralysis and since I was pregnant, they couldn’t give me the treatment because it might affect the baby. The result was that I have still not recovered full mobility of the left side of my face. This saddened me because I liked to be happy and smile. Additionally, the world had recently entered into the digital stage where people were sharing pictures on social media, but my face would likely never look the same. The happiness from my motherhood was eclipsed by this unexpected change in my life. They were difficult months in which I had many mixed emotions: the joy of having a new baby in my arms and yet feeling that I no longer had beauty in my face. I was active in the church, especially in the area of evangelism, but with my new appearance, I didn’t feel sure of myself nor excited to share a conversation with someone.
Those dark months led me to seek the Lord’s presence, to seek Him in prayer, and to read His Word. It was also a season in which I could examine myself in the light of the Bible and repent for areas in my life in which I was not being obedient. My insecurities led me to disconnect from the world, but at the same time, I was getting to know God more. In His Word, we discover that at times, the answers to our prayers are Yes, as He answered Hannah, Samuel’s mother, and me with my pregnancy. But at other times, like He said to Paul, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Cor. 12:9)
What a beautiful revelation! And so, I prayed again to the Creator and I said, “Lord, if you aren’t going to return the mobility in my face, please give me Your grace so that I can draw closer to others with a new smile in the Spirit that they will notice.” From that moment on, I began to be filled again with the immutable joy of the Lord, that is found in Christ’s sacrifice for our sins and that brings us hope of eternal life, which is not changed by any temporary or permanent situation happening in my life.
It is true that God, as a kind and merciful Father, responds to our requests through dreams or goals in this world, but these answers are not always in line with what we want. There are women who have prayed that they could be mothers, but they have not gotten pregnant; others for a husband, but have never married; others for healing from an illness that has not come about; and others for reconciliation in marriage or family relationships that have not been resolved. Therefore, we may ask ourselves, is His grace sufficient for us? Is the power of God being perfected through our weakness? Am I living joyfully in the Lord or am I frustrated because my personal goals are not being achieved? Is God’s plan for my life and others’ lives more important than my human aspirations?
So, is the source of my joy in motherhood or in marriage? In beauty or in a successful career? Maybe in not having any illness?
It's not that it's a sin to have aspirations in this life. The problem is when we live frustrated for not achieving them and lose the joy of our salvation, or when these earthly goals take the Sovereign Creator’s place in our heart.
According to the world’s standards, we will always lack something in order to feel complete: be taller, a beautiful face, a husband, a child, a grandchild, more or less weight, a university degree, a promotion, my own home or a bigger home, but the Word of God in Colossians 2:9-10 tells us where our fullness comes from: “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.”
What is most important to us? Personal success or to be transformed into the image of Christ?
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