Written by Kat Bittner, member of Iron Rose Sister Ministries Board of Directors in Colorado
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Ps. 25:11, NKJV)
Communication is rather peculiar. Isn’t it? It’s one of those things many find unpleasant and yet others thoroughly embrace. It can be cumbersome and hard. It can be impulsive and disparaging. But it can also be delightful and motivating. I’m definitely an embraceable communicator! No matter the fashion or form, communication will always be a central theme of humanity. Most assuredly, it is the central theme in our relationship with God.
“Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving” (Col. 4:2, NKJV).
It behooves us then as Christians to be especially mindful of the care and practice we employ in our communication. Emulating Jesus in our speech is just as important as emulating Him in our actions because “a good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matt. 12:35,37, NKJV).
As an image-bearer of God, I need to be purposely purposeful in my communication. And it takes work to do it right in accordance with God. To work communication rightly, we should practice it with intent. Here are a few suggestions from my own experience.
- Be mindful of those with whom you are speaking and their personality. I don’t approach my introverted, quiet friend about a conflict in the same way I do my very extroverted and assertive daughter. My own assertive personality might clash with my guarded friend. My daughter would say, “Bring it on!”
- Don’t assume that you and the other person (or people) have been genuinely heard in a conversation. Make sure all parties involved have some kind of affirmation. Question a speaker or reiterate conversation. Deaf ears can also befall the hearing.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” (George Bernard Shaw, playwright)
- Consider others first when you are communicating. Communication should always be tempered in the manner of Christ. “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Prov. 16:24, NLT). Our self-serving and self-righteous attitudes should be left at the foot of the cross (Ps. 55:22; Matt. 11:28).
- Remember that genuine communication involves listening, too. There is a time and a place for everything, “for every purpose under heaven…atime to keep silence, and a time to speak…” (Ecc. 3:1,7, NKJV). That means there’s a time to say nothing. And more often than not, it’s just what’s needed. There is nothing wrong with saying nothing, if nothing is gained by saying anything. Those who know me well, know I like to talk. If I’m quiet, it’s probably because I just don’t have anything beneficial to say. Really.
Our communication needs to be consistent with the will of God. It should stem from the Holy Spirit and keep us like-minded in Christ. Truth be told, our communication should be like Christ as should all things we do. And as in all things we are (1 Cor. 2:10-16).
What can you do to righty work communication in your life? How will you be a more Godly communicator?