“Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest...” (Matt. 11:28).
The weariness had gotten to me. Everything was a burden, a task, a chore. The joy and the spark were gone. A watered-down version of myself with a short fuse, I felt like I had become burdensome to others as well.
Deep down, I trusted that God and others still loved me. Some were hurting with me as they watched me wrestle in the trenches and they even jumped in to help, prayerful with me that this would be a passing phase.
God has affirmed that I was not alone in my pain and frustration. My experiences were not unique. Everyone goes through stages when life weighs more than we can bear. Tired of being weary, I longed for the joy of service, ministry, and life to return.
I cried out to the Prince of Peace, the source of true rest, our one true God and loving Father, to pull me out of the muck and mire. My mind knew that He could do it. My heart trusted it. But my body and my emotions had a hard time falling into step with His Spirit to truly come out of it.
In a similar spirit to David’s Psalm 51, I cried out for God to restore to me the joy of my salvation and to renew a steadfast spirit within me. Willing to be pruned, I asked Him to remove what needed to be stripped away and to reveal what I needed to let go of.
And my personal journey mirrored what we were facing as a ministry. Pruning is painful. We often want to continue with what is known, comfortable, or familiar. But growth does not happen there. We step into the unknown, we get uncomfortable, the unfamiliar becomes a breeding ground for greater trust... And God provides. God restores. God renews.
I rejoice that God has restored to me the joy of my salvation and of the work I am honored to do for Him. I am tired, but less weary. I am burdened, yet feeling a weight lifted. The dark cave now has a light at the end of the tunnel. Sounds like a verse I know...
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you. (2 Cor. 4:7-12)
Sometimes the first step of growth is death. And my growth process is not complete. But I am grateful. And I am reminded that “it’s all part of the journey...” (I tell a story about one of the first times I brutally learned that lesson In God’s Right Hand, chapter 3.)
How is God restoring the joy in your journey?
#IronRoseSister #restoration #restoringjoy