Meet Carla Sumner, Secretary for the Iron Rose Sister Ministries Board of Directors!
Carla, tell us a little about yourself and your family, especially how you and your husband have been blessed to be a part of the foster care system.
My husband, Ryan, and I have been married for 22 years (23 in August). We have three kids. John is 22. Lexi is 20 and Anna is 13. John and Lexi are adopted. Actually, we fostered to adopt them. God had His plan in that part of our story.
We started out offering respite care (when a foster family needs a break, we take care of the kids, like for a weekend). With Lexi, we took care of her for a weekend because the family was going to a family reunion. Then we watched her again in August and joked with her foster family that they might just not get her back. We got to visit her again several times and the older couple that was fostering her realized that they would not be able to adopt her. They were an older couple and wanted her to go to a young family. She became a permanent part of our family on September 18, two days after the due date for a child we had miscarried.
Lexi had been in the foster system for two and a half years when she came to live with us. We adopted John when he was seven, but he had been in the foster system for four years. I finally got pregnant with Anna after years of trying. And that’s our family.
I am a licensed speech language pathologist and my husband is a special education teacher, so we were uniquely equipped to help children, especially if there are any delays in their development. We feel like foster care is something God has called us to do. Neither of us grew up with it in our own families, but I was always taught to serve and help. This was one way to do that.
We have been out of the foster system for the past fifteen years, but last September we jumped back in because some friends had a four-year-old boy with very similar issues to our son. After all we had learned in our experience with him, we knew that we could help this family and make a difference in that boy’s life.
And now, we have a sibling group. They are only 11 months apart and sometimes I feel like I’m too old for this. But when, on Valentine’s Day, I hear a little voice repeat back “love you,” after the rough, young life she has had, and the delays in her speech... there is nothing like it. Moments like that make it all worth it.
That is so special! What motivated you and your husband to get involved with foster children (especially the babies!)?
What our own adoptive children went through as babies... what they did not receive in a loving environment... it created major issues and even Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We got back into foster care because we knew that we could help. We have our health and have been blessed with a large home with space where we can receive them. There are 5,000 foster children in the state of Arkansas alone. How could we not help meet this need? I also love being able to be a resource for other moms through my career experience as a speech language pathologist, especially in the area of swallowing.
I have heard you talk about what is vital for a baby in order to thrive both now and in the future. What aspect(s) of a child’s health are you impacting by taking them in and caring for them, especially those at a young age?
If physical needs are met early enough, a child learns that they can trust people. Nutrition, a safe environment in which the child feels loved and their needs are being met—those are the most important things. By age 3, if a child has not had that, he or she cannot get it back.
How does this translate to their future spiritual health?
We are introducing them to Jesus, taking them to church, planting seeds. They are seeing what it looks like to live in a Christian home. We may never see the impact in the future. But I know that it is making a difference. We are showing them who God is through our home.
The women reading this blog may or may not have had the blessing of loving parents during their own early years. What encouragement can you provide to our readers regarding their own spiritual health today?
You may have had a father who was absent. We can always look to God as our Father.
But in a practical sense, in our church family, we can find an older couple who can serve as surrogate parents or mentors. Find an older woman in your life who can be a confidant. Hey! She can be an Iron Rose Sister! And you can be one with her.
God has given us the church as our extended family. You can find a parent figure there and be blessed through that relationship.
Yes! As Iron Rose Sisters, we want to encourage and equip each other to connect to God and one another more deeply. Any other words of encouragement or equipping for our Iron Rose Sisters as it relates to our spiritual health or that of our families, maybe a specific Bible verse that has been an encouragement to you for your own spiritual health?
I look back now at how we went through things with our oldest son and I can truly say, “God got me through it.” Pray. Pray. Pray. A lot. We thought we had planned our course. We were doing the right thing and we were going to save this kid. Nope. Only God can.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
We learned so much early on that God has been able to use in order to bless and help others now and in the future. It reminds me of the difference between knowledge and wisdom. It is important to find those with wisdom based on experience. When we were young, we had knowledge, but we needed to learn how to apply it—to learn wisdom.
We did not plan to adopt these kids. Were we charting our own course? Did God want this? Did I bring it on myself? On the really tough days, I even asked, “Was God punishing me?” But I realized that this is something that God can use to help other people.
My other favorite verse is Jeremiah 29:11, which helps me answer those questions. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
Carla, we appreciate your insights and for the role you play in Iron Rose Sister Ministries on our board. Thanks for your time and for sharing your story! And we invite you, our readers, to respond to Carla and chat with her through this blog.
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