You can truly have too much of a good thing. For three months, there was no part of Michelle that was not IRSM. There was no Sabbath. No margins. And I was done.
I never want to reach the point at which I am resenting my job. No one does. But I was there.
Honesty is the best policy and confession is good for the soul. So, here I go...
Some of the safeguards that we had put into place as a ministry seemed to have crumpled. We are still unsure how some of it happened. But my schedule was taxed to the point that I was not taking care of myself. And one cannot pour out from an empty cup.
The steps I took to return to a spirit of peace:
• Rested. I made it a priority to find a couple of mornings in which I did not set my alarm.
• Renewed my commitment to listen this year—listening to God and to one another.
There was no room in my life to listen. No phone calls with family and friends. No coffee dates or lunch time catch-ups. Prayers were hurried statements tossed haphazardly in the direction of a God I knew was there, but I was disconnected from Him. I had to get back to listening—to God and to one another.
• Aligned my spirit with THE Spirit. Even though I was preparing Bible classes and equipping other women in their spiritual walk, I was neglecting my own spiritual health. My own desires, frustrations, and intentions were screaming louder. I had to work to quiet my spirit so that The Spirit could live, move, work, and have His way.
• Admitted my limitations. We cannot do it all. Easier said than done.
• Reevaluated. Some things had to go. My plate was overloaded and everything was suffering.
• Went for a walk. There is nothing that can’t wait 15 minutes. A quick walk around the block and prayer time is an excellent quick-charge and renewal of body and spirit.
• Took a mini-vacation. Many of you know that family is important to me and I get a lot of joy from spending time as “Aunt M.” Two-year-old demands may try my patience, but they are a change of pace and remind me that my value is greater than the things I do. It is more about who I am and how I treat others—being silly, unconditional love, story time, and an occasional cup of coffee.
• Sought help. I warned you that this is confession time... And part of what has intensified many aspects of current life is perimenopause. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that the changing dynamics of this stage of life can make mountains out of mole hills and monsters out of mundane tasks.
Thank you for your prayers. We are all a work in progress and I appreciate how patient God is with us in that process!
My prayers are with you as well as we evaluate the need and take steps to rest, renew, and refresh.