Chronic pain has become more of a mainstay in my life. My health teeters in a delicate balance. Unfortunately, once one thing gets out of whack, the rest of my body goes into hyper-alert, reacting to what it thinks are threats or toxins.
Without making a grocery list of symptoms or issues that I face, I will suffice it to say that things in my body are currently far from healthy or pain-free—a major challenge considering the aspects of ministry God has called me to.
Someone posed a question on Facebook last week: If you could choose one of the following, which would you choose? A year’s paid vacation; good health/pain free living… There were six choices and I don’t remember all of the options, but those were the “top two” I debated in my head.
Can you guess which I chose? Let me clarify that my version of a year’s paid vacation would equal doing what I do now, just not having to fund-raise! Yes, please!
As I chuckled over my choice, my pain level increased throughout the rest of that day and into the remaining days of that week. So, I began to question my own line of thinking.
My pain was hindering the work God had called me to. My pain was overshadowing all other thoughts and emotions. My pain had become an all-consuming demand on my time, attention, and even my budget.
Should I choose to ask God to rid me of all my pain—alleviate all of the health issues and complications that create increasing challenges for my travel and fulfillment of His calling? I’m not sure…
Because I have been transformed by the pain.
Believe it or not, if I had to choose it all over again, I truly believe I would choose the pain.
Pain helps me identify with Christ and the apostles… “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Pain forces me to look to the ultimate source of strength. Pain pushes me out of the routine I may be stuck in. Pain reveals my spiritual weaknesses. Pain makes me more compassionate. Pain reminds me that God is in control. Pain promises that my mourning will be turned to dancing and my sorrow to joy. Pain makes me long for heaven. And pain leads me to connect with other parts of Christ’s body, the church, as we each do our part.
Transformation is often a very unpleasant process—dare I say, painful. Yet, may we glorify God through the pain and be transformed by it.
P.S. I do appreciate your prayers for some alleviation of the pain and my overall health, as I have an extensive travel schedule over the next few months. God is good and I trust His protection, provision, and direction.
Psalm 119:71 “It was good for me to be afflictedso that I might learn your decrees.”